


please, don't fall in love (without me)

by a_summerfall



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-09-12 20:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16879074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_summerfall/pseuds/a_summerfall
Summary: Kara wasn’t expecting Lena to move her hands down to her shirt and start to unbutton it. She was too distracted with Lena's lips on hers, with the bite on her bottom one and the tongue smoothing it. It's just… they have never done it before in the office. Not when Lena was so busy for them to have more than fifteen minutes together in there before Jess would demand her attention.She was not expecting the quietness that night. She was not expecting their kiss to get so heated in just less than eight seconds upon their mouths meeting. She was not expecting Lena's hand… and she was too slow to stop it.





	1. Chapter 1

_“We don’t have a friendship, Supergirl.”_

Lena's low voice comes back to Kara's mind as she looks out the window, watching the raindrops failing fast over National City. She can hear the wind picking up outside, a soft whisper that only intensifies the shakiness on her cold body. Neither a cozy blanket nor a warm tea seems enough to make her feel better.

_But, honestly, how could it?_

She looks back at the sleeping woman on the bed, wires connected to her whole body.

_How could I ever feel better if she isn’t?_

Machines beep here and there, but the only sound Kara really listens to is her heartbeat. The soft and weak yet constant _thump… thump… thump_.

_How could I feel better if I'm not sure that she will?_

There is a bruise on her pale left cheek. A small scar on her right forearm. She has broken her rib and scratched her thigh pretty hard.

_How could I have let this happen?_

She doesn’t look like Lena. Her Lena is always sweet and smart and talented and sarcastic and strong. She would never look like that. Never. Her Lena would never look so broken, so vulnerable, so far away. She just wouldn’t.

_How could I have let this happen?_

_“I thought we were friends,”_ her low voice comes in the same whisper. It's like she is right in front of her, saying it once again with that sadness in her green eyes.

_You already know the answer to that._

A tear falls from her eye, quickly followed by another. It makes her vision get blurred as she approaches the bed. “Lena,” she whispers in a broken voice, carefully taking the cold hand on hers. Despite the lack of warmth, at least her skin is still as soft as it has always been. This is still a part of her Lena. “Babe. I— _Please_. Come back to me. Please, babe, wake up. I can’t lose you. I can’t—”

A pretty ugly sob slips from her mouth, her chest aching with the strong emotion that threatens to take over her entire body.

“Kara.”

She hides her face on her shaking hands, not taking long to feel her sister's soft touch pulling her for a warm hug. Alex doesn’t say anything, she just strokes Kara's hair in a gentle way as the blonde clenches her hands on either side of her jacket.

Her chest feels too tight to breathe. Her heart beats too fast and too loud for her to concentrate on anything. It feels like her world is about to slip away from her hold. It feels like she is about to lose all hope.

_“I've never had friends like you before.”_

Another sob comes from deep her throat, making her gasp for air desperately. Suddenly, everything feels too hot, too loud, too weak.

“Kara.”

She pulls away from her sister, moving back again to the window. _Breathe, Kara, breathe._ She rests her forehead on the cold glass; her hands on its edge. _Come on._

_“Come to think of it, I've never had family like you.”_

“Kara.”

She closes her eyes shut, forcing all her concentration on someone else's heartbeat. _Too fast_ , she thinks while listening to Alex's. _Too loud_ , she thinks while listening to Maggie's. _Too slow_ , she thinks while listening to Lena's.

_Lena._

It's still weak, but it's there. It's still the only sound that helps her to calm down.

_“That is one of the things I love about you.”_

“I screwed everything, Alex,” she whispers, feeling the brown eyes on her, worried but unsure of what to do. “I ruined everything.”

“This is not your fault, Kara,” Alex says gently, her voice somewhere close to her right.

“Yes, it is,” she presses her forehead harder and quickly eases it when hearing a soft crack. “If we haven’t been in a fight, none of this would have happened.”

Alex is quiet for a moment, thinking, analyzing what the sentence really means. Her heart misses a quick beat as realization dawns on her. Her voice sounds softer when she asks, “She found out about Supergirl, didn’t she?”

Kara only nods.

“Oh, Kara.” Alex hesitantly touches her shoulder, slowly moving her hand up and down when sure that Kara will not pull away. “I’m sorry.”

Kara leans closer to her, eyes still closed. “I just need to be sure that she is going to be okay, Alex.”

“The first twenty-four hours are critical,” Alex whispers, sounding as sad as Kara feels. “I'm sorry. I can’t promise that she is going to be okay. The doctors did everything they could, but it depends on her now. I'm really sorry.”

“At least you're telling me the truth.”

Alex's gentle strokes on her shoulder get even slower. “I know they are not very good news, but she is fighting. It means that she hasn’t given up yet. She still wants to be here.”

Kara takes a deep breath, sniffing lowly. She repeats her sister's words over and over on her head, letting it bring hope to her aching chest. Hope that Lena is going to be okay. Hope that Lena will wake up, and Kara will be able to see her beautiful green eyes again.

-

_Kara wasn’t expecting it._

_Kara wasn’t expecting Lena to move her hands down to her shirt and start to unbutton it. She was too distracted with Lena's lips on hers, with the bite on her bottom one and the tongue smoothing it. It's just… they have never done it before in the office. Not when Lena was so busy for them to have more than fifteen minutes together in there before Jess would demand her attention._

_She was not expecting the quietness that night. She was not expecting their kiss to get so heated in just less than eight seconds upon their mouths meeting. She was not expecting Lena's hand… and she was too slow to stop it._

_Her head was so foggy with the kiss that she took a few moments to notice that Lena had pulled away from her, a look of confusion on her dark eyes as she looked right at Kara's chest. Right at her opened shirt._

Oh, Rao.

_“Lena—”_

_“No,” the woman shook her head, disbelief overtaking her expression as she looked into Kara's eyes. “No, no. This can’t be happening.”_

_“Lena, wait, please,” Kara begged, following Lena as the woman pulled away from her and stood. “Please, let me explain.”_

_“Explain what?” Lena whispered, voice harsh, frowning as if not believing what she was hearing. “I can’t believe this. You have been lying to me this whole time?”_

_Kara swallowed the lump that was starting to form on her throat. “I wanted to tell you.”_

_“Oh, did you?” Lena scoffed, anger appearing on her face. “I thought we were friends, Kara. I honestly thought you were my friend, but you are just like everybody else, aren’t you?”_

_Her chest tightened with those words; her vision got blurred as her eyes burned with tears. “Lena, please—”_

_“When were you going to tell me?” her voice was colder then, harsher. She was just three steps away from Kara but she has never felt so distant. “Were you going to tell me at all?”_

_“I—” Kara clasped her hands tightly together, looking at her own feet. “I wanted to. I really did but—”_

_“But I'm a Luthor,” Lena let out a dry laugh, shaking her head again. “Why trust someone like me, huh?”_

_“Lena, no,” Kara stretched her hand, taking half a step closer but stopping short when Lena took a step back. She tried really hard not to let her hurt show when the woman also crossed her arms in a way to tell her to_ not _get any closer or touch her. “That is not it. You know I’ve never judged you by your name. I_ was _going to tell you. I just didn’t know how. You have been honest with me for the last few years, and I have_ not _. I know it. I thought if you knew, people would use it against you. I wanted to protect—”_

 _“No,” Lena pointed an accusing finger at her. “_ Don’t _say that._ Don’t _say you were trying to protect me. You lied to me, Kara. You fucking lied to me.”_

_A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered in a broken voice, hating to see the way Lena started to pace in her quiet office, running her hands on her messy hair. “I’ve never meant for this to happen. I really didn’t. I didn’t want you to find out this way. I was selfish.”_

_Lena stopped her pacing to meet her gaze. “What do you mean by 'selfish'?”_

_“I—” Kara frowned and reached to adjust her glasses. “I could be myself with you. I didn’t have to be Supergirl. I could be Kara. I could be myself. I could be the person I was never allowed to since my pod crashed here.”_

_Lena's heart missed a beat at her words, beating with a small hint of sadness. She didn’t say anything, though._

_“I never meant to hurt you,” Kara said in a low voice. “I never meant any harm to you, Lena. I swear. I didn’t tell you because I was— Because I was afraid.”_

_Lena frowned with her words, showing a tiny bit of hurt and surprise on her expression. “Afraid of me?”_

_“No,” Kara quickly exclaimed, getting closer despite the way Lena stumbled back. Again. “Not of_ you _. I was— I was afraid of_ this _. I didn’t want you looking at me like… you are now.”_

_Lena sighed, reaching up to rub her temples. She looked a bit too tired. “I don’t think I can do this right now. You should go.”_

_“Lena…”_

_“Please, Kara,” Lena said in a whisper, frowning a bit. “I need space. I cannot look at you right now and not think that you've been lying to me. I can’t do this.”_

_Kara reached to adjust her glasses again. “Okay. Can I— Can I call you later?”_

_Lena looked into her eyes for an entire minute without saying anything. “I don’t think that will be a good idea. I need to think about this… alone.”_

_Kara nodded, biting her lip to hold back the tears. “Are we— Are we going to be okay?”_

_“I don’t know.” Lena slowly walked towards her, hands shaking as she reached to take off her glasses. It looked like she was searching for something on her face. Kara honestly couldn’t say if she had found it. “I don’t know how I never saw it. You should’ve told me.”_

_Kara tried not to think if that would be the last time she would feel Lena's touch on her skin. “I know. I'm sorry.”_

-

_Kara was still flying around the city a few hours later in an attempt to empty her head. She could feel the smell of a storm approaching, darkening the night sky even more. It would take probably a couple of minutes for it to start; that if the drops occasionally hitting her was a sign to take._

_She would have to go home at some point, but she was afraid to be alone with nothing else to do. She also didn’t know if she wanted to be with someone right now to talk about what happened. She wanted one person to be with her, but that person didn’t want to be near her._

_Just the thought of it made her rethink about the events of that night, and she had to bite her lip to hold back a few tears that were already blurring her vision. She could not fly like this. She had to go._

_Taking a deep breath, Kara looked at her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was the huge **L** on one of the buildings. Rao, she hadn’t noticed she was there, close to where it all started. Honestly, she wasn’t even paying attention to where she was flying… she just was. Now, it was impossible for her not to notice that the office was already pitch black. The CEO had gone home. And so… Kara did, too._

_She landed on her living room with a soft thud, her body screaming at her to go to bed already. Not because she was tired. Physically, I mean. She checked her phone to see if anyone had texted or called her, trying not to be disappointed as no notifications were waiting to be seen._

_Nonetheless, she opened her thread with Lena. Her eyes watered instantly at the last few messages she read._

**[Kara]: I miss you**

**[Lena]: Why don’t you come over then?**

**[Lena]: I could definitely use a break right now.**

**[Kara]: I’m already here**

**[Kara]: Just stepping inside L-Corp with some food**

**[Lena]: God, that's why I love you, darling.**

_A broken sob escaped her mouth, but she didn’t even try to cover it. Instead, she collapsed on her couch and let herself cry to exhaustion. She was never able to tell how long it had passed, but she stirred on her bubble when a loud sound of something buzzing filled the room. It was pouring rain outside, the drops hitting her window hard._

_She reached for her phone somewhere under the coffee table. “Hello?”_

_“Supergirl?” Winn greeted in an anxious voice; the loud sound of him typing away telling her that this was most likely an emergency. “There has been a bad car accident downtown. You need to fly there._ Fast _.”_

_“Okay, I'm on my way,” she said in a tired voice, muscles moving on their own to fly up to the cold rain. “Is there any paramedics heading that way?”_

_“Yeah, I'm trying to access some cameras on the area to take a look at the situation and, ah! There. Two victims, male and female. One around their middle forty and the other around…” his voice died down slowly, the sudden quietness unnerving over the rain. “Supergirl?”_

_“Yeah?” Kara called out, already catching a small hint of smoke rising among the skyscrapers. “What is it?”_

_She asked, but she would never be ready for his answer._

_“It's Lena.”_

_She was there in a blink of an eye._ No, no, no, no. _She registered the paramedics in the area, moving here and there to help the two victims, but Kara only had eyes for one. “Lena.”_

 _Smoke was lazily rising up to the sky, coming from the same black car Lena was still inside._ No, no, no, no. _She moved quickly towards her, moving past a paramedic to reach her fainted Lena._

_“Come on, come on, tell me what to do,” she begged the woman behind her, listening carefully to her instructions to set Lena free. “It’s okay, it's okay, I'm taking you out.”_

_She whispered reassurances to herself more than to the woman inside the car._

_“Take her to the hospital,” the kind woman with brown skin told her as soon as Lena was out; her lifeless body on Kara's careful hold. “We’ll take care of the man. He is going to be okay. Just a few scratches.”_

_“Okay,” Kara nodded at her, looking gratefully into her soft hazel eyes. “I’ll be right back to help you out.”_

_“Go.”_

_Kara pushed herself up instantly, careful as flying with a fainted Lena under the rain. She held her close, afraid of letting her go because her arms were shaking with panic, with worry. “Stay with me, babe. Stay with me.”_

_Her boots barely landed on the floor when she reached the hospital’s emergency wing and begged for someone to help her. Nurses moved here and there, fully aware of the situation despite being almost two in the morning. A quick conversation happened with one of them as she unconsciously followed where they were taking the woman she loved the most. She explained the little she knew about the condition Lena was found._

_“We'll take it from here, Supergirl,” a nurse said as they reached a door._

_She looked at him, his face blurred because of the tears that were already forming on her eyes. “Save her. Save her, please.”_

_There was a small hint of surprise on his grey eyes, but he nodded anyway before crossing the door and leaving her alone in the hallway._

-

Kara holds Lena's hand gently, paying attention only to her soft heartbeat. She tries but she can’t stop thinking about the moment she found her. Lena looked almost… gone. _“Save her. Save her, please.”_

Her desperation was so strong, her fear was so big, that, when she arrived at the hospital with Lena, people saw it and started to comment. Winn told Maggie, who told Alex, who told Kara that there were rumors about it on social media. Especially about Supergirl showing up and looking desperate, broken, on the edge of tears, with an unconscious Lena Luthor on her arms.

But, honestly, she couldn’t care less about it right now.

“Hey,” Alex calls in a soft, gentle voice, stepping inside the room with nothing but concern written all over her face. “Maggie and I are heading home to take a quick shower and get some breakfast. Is there anything you want?”

Kara shakes her head. “I’m good, thank you.”

Alex is quiet for a few seconds as she approaches slowly to stay behind her chair. “Um, Winn said he will come in an hour as well.”

“Okay.”

A hesitant hand is rested on her shoulder and a soft kiss is laid on the top of her head. Alex doesn’t say anything, but her kindness is everything Kara needs right now. It's like she is saying, praying, that _everything is going to be alright_. She leaves barely a minute later, leaving her for the time being. If Lena doesn’t wake up soon, Kara has a feeling that Alex will drag her home to take a shower and rest properly for a few hours. She will do that even if Kara protests with all her weak strength.

She keeps looking at Lena's pale hand, tracing a finger on it as gently as she can. “You know what I can't stop thinking about?” she asks in a whisper, wondering if Lena is able to hear. “I’m thinking about that gala we attended two months ago. The charity one to raise awareness about the children’s hospital. That place was almost decaying, but you helped to save it. You always do that. You create a cause so everyone can help with money or projects to make the world better. You have always inspired me with that. I don’t think I've ever told you.”

She opens a small smile and looks up at Lena's face. Her hand is shaking as she lifts it to put a raven stray behind Lena's ear. She can’t help carefully caressing her cheek as leaning closer to leave a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I want to tell you so many more things,” she whispers. “I want to tell you how much I love you, how much I'm sorry that I lied to you. I do understand if you need time and space, but, please, babe. _Please_ , don’t go. Wake up. Let me see your beautiful eyes again. Let me hear your soft voice. Let me see your stunning smile. Please, Lena. I don’t wanna— I can’t lose you like this.”

-

_Kara got out of the black car and turned around to help her wonderful, spectacular, stunning girlfriend out. She was so breathtaking with that gorgeous navy blue dress that showed just a tiny bit of cleavage and that hugged her curves so fairly well that Kara couldn’t stop staring. Lena was so, so very amazing that she would be, by far, the most beautiful woman in this gala._

_“Close your mouth, darling.”_

_Kara gasped in feign offense, a small frown in between her eyebrows. “If you’re even close to implying that I'm drooling over your looks, Miss Luthor, I might seriously consider leaving you right here. Alone.”_

_“I doubt I would stay alone for too long,” Lena teased as adjusting one of Kara’s soft curls. “But I know you would never do that, darling.”_

_“I might, if you keep teasing me.”_

_“I highly doubt that,” Lena leaned closer to leave a kiss on her cheek. “Come on, I want to show my girlfriend off to everyone who has eyes.”_

_Kara let out a shy laugh, cheeks blushing while following Lena towards a security guard. She took two glasses of champagne as soon as they stepped inside and a waiter passed by them. “When will you give your speech?”_

_“At eight,” Lena answered, taking a sip of her drink and looking at Kara quite in a too intimate way for a public space. “I have to talk to some investors, which you will come with me so I can show you off, then I will give my speech, then we will have a slow dance, then we can do basically whatever we want. Like go home and cuddle.”_

_“You have our whole night planned out?” Kara couldn’t help but open a wide smile. “You're quite amazing, you know.”_

_“Quite?” Lena quirked a brow in that way only she could do. “I want to hear you say that when I tell you what I have planned for the second we step inside my place.”_

_Kara swallowed hard, her smile disappearing from her lips. “Oh.”_

_Lena smirked and approached; her scent leaving Kara a tiny bit dizzy. “I’m sure you will like it. It involves cuddles under cozy blankets, some Chinese food, a movie in the background… and both of us, you know, sleeping.”_

_“_ What _?”_

_“You heard me,” Lena took her hand and started to take her to a small group of people. “I’ll be tired as fuck by the time we leave.”_

_“You're insufferable.”_

_“I know you love me.”_

_Kara smiled. “I do.”_

_The night had gone by so quickly that, in what felt like a blink of an eye, they had talked to a lot of guests, Lena had given her speech, and, finally, they were slow dancing in the middle of couples under the starry sky. It all felt so quiet and cozy and… perfect. It didn’t feel like they were surrounded by corporate people. It was like they were in their own bubble, where nothing and nobody could ruin the moment they were having._

_That might have been the reason to why Kara said in a very low voice, close to Lena's ear, “Marry me.”_

_Lena froze in her arms, her heart missed a beat, and she pulled away a tiny bit to look into her eyes. “I’m sorry?”_

_Kara's eyes widen as her own words registered on her mind. “Oh, no. Lena. I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I was just thinking and—”_

_“You don’t want to marry me?” Lena asked with a soft frown between her eyebrows._

_“No, it's not that!” Kara exclaimed and lifted one of her hands to adjust her glasses._

_Rao, what had she done? Why did she have to say that out loud? She was just… thinking how nice it would be to be able to call Lena her wife. To create a family, and live together, and wake up by her side every single day. She didn’t mean to say it. Not before telling Lena about Supergirl, at least._

Oh, no.

 _Rao,_ what _had she done?_

 _“It’s not that I_ don’t _think about it,” she said, voice just above a whisper. “I do. Like a lot, to be honest. But we have just been dating for a little bit more than a year. I don’t want to scare you away about marriage already and I didn’t mean to say it. Oh. I never imagined myself saying it like that. I wanted something more romantic. I don’t know what exactly but… I don’t know. Just_ not _like I just did. I'm so sorry. We can totally pretend I haven’t said anything and keep dancing like nothing happened.”_

_“I can’t pretend you didn’t say it.”_

_Kara's heart dropped to her stomach. “Oh, Lena. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say it. I was just thinking that this felt good. I didn't—”_

_She was interrupted by Lena's soft lips when the woman kissed her slowly. She melted on it completely; especially when feeling the woman stroking her hair in a lazy way. “Kara, darling. I love you. You might not have meant to ask it right now, but that doesn’t mean I'm not ready to answer that I would definitely, completely, marry you.”_

_The ground under her feet seemed to have disappeared for an entirely good reason. “Oh. Do you— Do you mean what I think you mean right now?”_

_“Yes,” Lena opened a very beautiful smile. “Yes, darling. I would totally marry you whenever you're ready for it.”_

_“Oh, Lena.” Kara wrapped her arms around her waist to bring her impossibly closer, to feel her raced heartbeat right exactly against hers. “I can’t believe it. I can’t. Oh, R—God.”_

_She kissed her slowly, both of them smiling too widely to do it properly. Kara did promise that, when she bought a ring, she would do it way more romantically. Lena just laughed and said to her not to worry about it._

_Later that night, so very slowly and so very passionately, they did way more than just kissing._

-

Kara wakes up with her forehead resting on Lena's left thigh; hand still gently holding the cold one. She has a feeling that what has woken her up was the discomfort on her neck and, when she is about to rub the spot to ease the pain, she feels it. It is so weak it is barely there but _it is_.

Her eyes snap up to Lena's face, finding a slight frown in between her eyebrows. “Lena?”

It seems to take her a lot of energy to simply open her eyes, her beautiful green eyes. She lazily blinks at Kara a couple of times, heart picking up a bit before she opens her mouth to say with no sound, “ _Kara_.”

That alone is enough to make the air leave her lungs.

“I’m here, babe,” she whispers, trying to hold back her tears. “It’s okay, I'm here.”

Her heart does a soft, quick beat before it settles again in the calm one it has been for the past few hours. She mouths her name one more time as she happily closes her eyes and falls back into a deep sleep.

“It’s okay. I'm here, babe.” Kara leans in to leave a very soft kiss on her temple. “I’m here. I won’t leave you. I'll be here when you wake up again. I promise.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been two days.

Two days since Lena first woke up after the accident, since Kara last saw her beautiful eyes. Two days since Lena weakly squeezed her hand, since Lena mouthed her name.

Two days of quietness.

Two days in which Kara hasn’t left her side, hasn’t let go of her hand, hasn’t stopped listening to her heart.

The soft _thump, thump, thump_ s are steadier now, and stronger. Her vitals have been improving every single day, every single hour. She isn’t as pale and cold as the first day… but she hasn’t come back to consciousness yet.

 _“She is catching up on sleep,”_ Winn had said when he visited earlier that morning, trying to make Kara feel better. _“You know she never sleeps properly.”_

That comment made her smile a bit.

_“Yeah, you're probably right.”_

That comment made her remember the day when everything changed in her chest, when everything started to make sense.

That comment made her remember the exact moment when she first realized it.

-

_It was close to midnight and she was still at L-Corp, settled on the white couch with Lena lying her head on her lap. She was stroking her soft raven strands with shaking fingers, occasionally scratching her scalp to hear the slow, relaxed way her friend would exhale._

_She knew Lena was tired. So tired, in fact, that when she first heard her voice that night over the phone, she knew she had to come to rescue her friend. They hadn’t seen each other in almost a week, so Kara didn’t know for how long the CEO had been non-stop working on that new project. Nevertheless, she clearly needed to rest._

_“Lena?”_

_The woman hummed in acknowledgment to her soft, low voice._

_“Let me take you home.”_

_An incredible amount of fondness grew in her chest when Lena nuzzled closer to her body as if those words would take her away from the safe place she currently was. “I’m just resting my eyes for a while.”_

_“I know,” Kara opened a smile. “But don’t you want to be somewhere comfortable? Like your big, cozy bed?”_

_“I'm cozy here.”_

_Kara scratched her scalp, slower this time. She watched closely as Lena let out a soft sound to her gentle caress and shifted in place right after in an attempt to take Kara’s attention away from it. Like ever. “If you take a few hours to rest, you will have a new perspective to solve whatever problem you're having with that prototype.”_

_“I just need another hour. I'm almost finding the problem and cracking it.”_

_“You said that three hours ago,” Kara reminded her softly. “Come on, I promise it will be worth it.”_

_Lena was quiet for a long moment, which almost made Kara think she had fallen asleep, but then she simply said in a low voice, “Okay.”_

_She must have been really tired to agree without further complaints, making Kara think, “How long have you been here?”_

_Lena frowned in concentration, her eyes still closed. “What day is it?”_

_“Okay,” Kara playfully touched the crinkle on her forehead. “No need to answer that anymore. Let's go.”_

_During the ride home, Kara's heart kept unsteadily pounding in her ribcage due to Lena's proximity. She was tucked on Kara's side, dozing off to a soundless sleep, breathing just exactly on her neck._

_The blonde tried to calm herself as concentrating on caressing her friend’s arm, drifting her hand up and down in slow movements. It didn’t quite work, but she was so warm and so cozy that she almost didn’t want to wake Lena up when noticing they were arriving._

_“Lena,” she called so very softly in a voice barely audible even to her. “We’re almost there.”_

_The woman tucked herself closer to Kara. “Where?”_

_“Your place,” Kara answered with a smile. “I’m seriously thinking about letting you sleep for the next twelve hours or so.”_

_“No,” Lena complained, whining, her hand coming to rest on Kara's ribs. “I need to get back to work in the morning. I have to finish working on that prototype.”_

_“Eight hours, then.”_

_“Six.”_

_Kara shook her head. “You need to sleep at least eight hours to stay healthy.”_

_“Seven.”_

_“Fine,” Kara said, a wave of fondness growing in her chest once again when Lena let out a final sigh as if ready to fall back asleep right there on her shoulder. She moved her head a bit to the side to press her lips on Lena’s temple, but stopped short just a few inches away._

Oh.

_The air got stuck in her lungs as she bit her bottom lip hard to prevent herself from doing something she shouldn’t… something she couldn’t._

_It was the second time she almost did that, the second time she stopped herself in just about an inch away from the warmth of her friend’s skin._

What does this mean? _she thought quietly to herself, frowning in concentration._ Why does my heart always beat this fast when I'm near her? Why is it—

_Before she could think too much about it, she noticed that the driver had just parked in front of Lena’s building, quickly making her situation a thing to think about later – perhaps when she would be alone with a big set of pizza boxes dangling on her coffee table._

_“Come on,” she said softer, lower than ever before. She knew Lena would probably have asked what was wrong if she wasn’t so tired to let it slip away. “Let’s put you to bed.”_

_As Lena reached for her hand to entwine their fingers and guide her inside the penthouse, Kara felt something changing inside of her. She felt… different. She felt different as watching Lena tiredly rubbing her eyes, as watching Lena taking her make-up off, as watching Lena brushing her teeth. She felt different when Lena met her eyes and caught her staring._

_“You okay?”_

_It took her a second to answer. “Yeah.”_

_Lena smiled almost shyly at her as if not quite believing her word. “You will stay, right?”_

_Kara nodded and watched Lena get in bed, under the covers, her big green eyes never leaving hers. She joined only after taking a few deep breaths to steady her raced heart, but it got harder to keep it calm when Lena got close – so close she could feel her breathing._

_“Thank you for bringing me home.”_

_“Anytime,” Kara said with a small smile, hesitating for a second before lifting her hand to put a strand away from Lena’s eye. “You work too much sometimes.”_

_“I know,” Lena whispered a bit shakily, her eyes closing as Kara gently tucked her hair behind her ear. “I'm sorry about dinner. I lost track of time.”_

_“Don’t worry about it.”_

_Lena leaned on Kara's touch, her voice so very low as she confessed, “I wanted to spend more time with you. I've been missing you for weeks.”_

_“I’ve missed you, too.”_

_Lena shifted closer, the soft rhythm of her heart slowing down as she fell asleep. Kara didn’t even think too much about it at that time as she leaned closer to press her lips on Lena's forehead._

_“Sweet dreams, Lena.”_

_Almost unconsciously, her hand drifted to Lena’s lower back, caressing her over her pajamas shirt with lazy movements and lulling her friend even more to a deep sleep. It didn’t take long for her to follow, but not before finally realizing and thinking to herself,_ I'm in love with her.

_And it was a realization as automatic as breathing._

-

Kara is distractedly tracing her thumb on Lena's wrist, moving it in the lazy movement she has done countless times on late movie nights, when Alex softly knocks on the door and steps inside with a small smile. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she greets in a whisper, leaning back on the chair and lifting her hand to run her fingers on her hair. “Done with work already?”

“Yeah.” Alex moves closer, offering a paper bag Kara hasn’t noticed before. “I brought dinner for you.”

“Oh.” Her stomach groans in a low sound at the prospect of food, and she accepts the warm package to find three sandwiches that smell and look pretty good. She hasn’t been eating much lately, her appetite hasn’t quite been the same, but she still manages to have a few bites of whatever her sister brings her. “Thank you.”

Alex nods distractedly in acknowledgment, her brown eyes completely focused on a screen as reading Lena's vitals. She crosses her arms in a way that makes Kara a bit nervous, but soon enough she lets out a low sigh of relief. “This is good. She is a lot better since I last checked her.”

Kara opens a smile and lets the air out in a slow exhale. “She is still fighting.”

“Yeah.” Her sister looks back at her with a kind yet apprehensive expression. “I'm really sorry we can’t do anything else to help.”

“You did all you could,” she says softly, smiling a bit, chewing on her first sandwich. “I know there is nothing we can do but wait.”

Alex moves away from the screen to sit on another chair beside the bed, right on the opposite side of Kara's. Her voice is way softer when she asks, almost as if she is afraid to, “How are you holding up by the way?”

Kara looks at Lena's unmoving hand, her chest feeling empty without her presence. “I just wish she'd wake up.”

Her sister's brown eyes show nothing by compassion when she meets them, nothing but shared pain and anxiety. This isn’t easy. This isn’t an easy situation for either of them. Lena is part of their team, part of their family. She has been for so long now that, when she is not there, it isn’t the same. They have this constant feeling that something— _someone_ is missing. It's just… Lena has such a strong presence that everyone instantly notices when she isn’t there, where she would normally be.

Kara finishes her first sandwich and wipes her hands on a napkin, her fingers shaking slightly. “Where is Maggie?” she asks lowly just to focus on something that is not the constant beeping of the machines.

“She had some paperwork to do,” Alex answers in an equally low voice. “She will be here in an hour or so. We can stay if you want, so you can go home.”

Kara shakes her head, shifting a little on her chair. She should have known Alex would offer that at the first chance she got. “You know I can't. I can’t leave her.”

“We'll call you the second something different happens.”

“I can’t,” she whispers, looking into Alex's eyes, hoping that she understands what isn’t being said. _I promised her. I promised her I would be here._ “I just… I feel less anxious if I'm near her.”

“You sure?”

Kara nods. “I— I don’t think I'll be able to sleep anyway.”

Her sister looks at her for an unnerving moment until she seems to give up. “Alright. I'm just never going to stop telling you to go home.”

Kara laughs lowly. “I know. Sorry.”

“I'm just worried about you,” Alex whispers. “You haven’t been eating or sleeping like you used to. I'm worried you will collapse any time soon.”

“I’m fine,” Kara says in a low voice, looking down at her two remaining sandwiches. “I’ll go home when she wakes up.”

“I doubt that.”

“I will,” she says seriously, looking into Alex’s eyes to show that she means it. “I just— I can’t go before she wakes up. I won’t be able to stay away.”

Alex takes a deep breath and nods as if she gets it. “Alright.”

They get quiet after that and Kara chews on half of another sandwich before breaking the silence again. “How are things at the DEO?”

“Mostly quiet.” Alex takes her phone off a back pocket and scrolls distractedly through it. “I guess Winn already told you, but people are still talking about… you know.”

Kara wipes her hands on another napkin. “What are they saying exactly?”

“They are just…” Alex shrugs, smiling a little. “They have been very sweet. Sending good wishes for Lena to get better soon.”

Kara matches her expression, cheeks burning a tiny bit because she knows how lovely people can be about their relationship, how lovely they have always been. Their sweet comments have already made both of them laugh and cry and cuddle closely because they were there and they had the chance. Most people have even started to call them _National City's couple_.

But… that was before.

That was before Lena found out about her. About Supergirl.

She honestly has no idea what is going to happen between them now. If they will overcome it, if they will survive it as a couple.

She clears her throat and, so very carefully, reaches forward to hold Lena's hand. “Do you think she will remember it?”

Alex keeps quiet for a moment, head tilted to the side as she tries to catch what exactly Kara is asking. Her voice is really soft and gentle when she answers. “We can’t be certain. She didn’t hit her head pretty hard but it's hard to know.”

“I don’t know how I'll react if she doesn’t,” she whispers, eyes on their joined hands. “I don’t know how I'll react if she does.”

“Hey.” Alex leans closer to the bed, her brown eyes showing nothing but compassion. “You went through a lot together already and you overcame it. There is nothing you guys haven’t solved together as friends and as a couple. Whether she remembers it or not, Kara, you will find a way. You know that. You guys always do.”

“But this is different. I've never—”

“Kara?”

She stops talking and instantly looks at Lena, heart starting to pound incredibly fast. For a moment, she thinks she imagined the whisper, but then Lena frowns and groans lowly.

She is standing beside the bed in a second.

“Hey,” she says softly, taking a deep breath to control her shaky voice. “I’m here.”

Lena opens her beautiful eyes and blinks at her lazily as if to bring her face into focus. “You are.”

“Yeah,” Kara answers, brows furrowed a little. She concentrates on Lena's heart in time to catch the way it misses a beat and starts to pound a bit too fast for her liking. “Yeah, I'm here.”

Lena swallows visibly and weakly squeezes her hand. “I thought I heard your voice.”

Kara hesitates for a second before lifting her hand to put a raven strand behind Lena's ear, noticing how the woman doesn’t break eye contact and actually leans on her touch. “How are you feeling?”

“Heavy,” she breathes out, voice so very low Kara has to concentrate harder on it. “My head feels foggy.”

“It's probably the painkillers,” Alex whispers quietly as if not to interrupt their moment, but her voice is still audible enough for them to hear. “It’ll make her sleepier than normal.”

 _Slower too_ , Kara notices as watching Lena moving her head to find the source of the new voice.

“Alex.”

“Hey,” she opens a kind smile, the left corner of her mouth curling up more than the other. “Welcome back.”

Lena frowns at her, eyes getting unfocused as if thinking, wondering. “How long have I been out?”

“Two days.”

“I’m still pretty tired,” Lena says with a sigh, making both Danvers' sisters laugh lowly. Kara even goes a bit farther and actually starts to cry because _Lena is awake; she is talking_. “Hey, you’re crying.”

Kara sniffs and dries her cheek in a quick movement. “I’m just happy you're awake.”

Lena's lips curl up a tiny bit into a smile; her thumb caressing the back of Kara's hand in a comforting gesture. “What happened to me?”

Her heart seems to drop to the floor. “You don’t remember?”

“I remember just bits and pieces,” she whispers with a thoughtful tone as if trying to recall the events of that night. “I was leaving L-Corp late at night. The building was empty and— I don’t know. It was raining a lot.”

“Yeah, it was,” she agrees, averting her eyes from Lena's to concentrate on the explanation. “It was pouring rain, so the roads were slippery and visibility was pretty low. I didn’t watch the whole footage but another driver lost control and— And he came at— He came right at— There was a car crash.”

Lena starts to move her thumb in lazy circles, her touch so comforting all Kara wants to do is to bring her closer. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he had just a few scratches.”

She is quiet for five seconds before asking, “Were you the one who brought me here?”

The blonde presses her lips together and nods slowly, her thoughts automatically going back to the moment she found Lena in that car.

_No, no, no, no._

_“I'm taking you out.”_

_“Stay with me.”_

_“Save her, please.”_

“Thank you.”

Blue eyes focus back again on green ones as if it is the first time it happens, as if it is the first time they meet. She didn’t notice what Lena was implying with that last question but she gets it now.

Lena remembers it. She remembers who Kara is, remembers their conversation, remembers what happened that night at L-Corp before the accident.

“Lena…”

“No,” the woman whispers, shaking her head and gently squeezing Kara’s fingers. “Not now.”

“I—” Kara takes a deep breath but ends up agreeing quietly. She owns this to Lena after all. “Alright.”

They fall into an almost comforting silence in which Lena's gaze gets more and more intense – watching, studying, searching for something. It's like that moment all over again when she took Kara's glasses off.

_“I don’t know how I never saw it. You should've told me.”_

Kara tiredly rubs her eyes in an attempt to control her emotions, repeating the words _don’t cry, don’t cry_ on her mind over and over and over again.

She is almost relieved when Lena whispers, “You look tired.”

A watery laugh slips from her mouth. “I know. I feel it.”

“You should rest.”

“I will.”

“I mean it.” Lena squeezes her hand to hold it better, her thumb still moving on her skin in soft, lazy movements. “Go home, Kara. Rest. I'll be fine.”

“I—” Kara concentrates on her warmth, on her softness. She would want nothing more than to get in bed with her, to curl up beside her body, to fall asleep to the sound of her heartbeats. She can feel her own body relaxing, almost as if that would happen any time soon. Almost as if she would actually have a good night of sleep. “I will try.”

“Promise?”

Kara bites the corner of her bottom lip and inhales slowly. “I promise.”

Lena smiles at her as if satisfied, a small smug on her lips that reminds the blonde too much of all her stupid lost arguments. She can’t help but smile as well, shaking her head a bit as if in disbelief.

“I dreamed with that smile,” Lena says quietly. _So_ quietly Kara isn’t a hundred percent sure she even said it, but the brunette instantly closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip hard. “Sorry. I just… I'm tired. I didn’t mean to say it.”

_Oh…_

“It's okay.”

“No, Kara, I—”

“Hey,” she calls gently, waiting for her to open those beautiful eyes again. “It’s okay. I get it. But we don’t have to talk about it right now.”

Lena blinks and inhales slowly. “I’m sorry.”

Kara tries to smile to dismiss it, to say that is not a big of a deal – even if her heart is breaking in pieces, even if she can feel herself frowning deeply to keep her tears hidden.

“I’m really tired,” Lena breaths out, starting to struggle to keep her eyes opened. “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“I’m not upset.”

Lena tilts her head a little bit to the side. “I know you, Kara. You get upset for five seconds if I accidentally eat the last donut or if I— If I'm mean to you.”

“You’re not mean to me.”

She smiles sadly, not believing her words. “Sometimes I am. But I know you're upset right now because you have,” she untangles their hands to gently touch a thumb on her forehead, wincing a little bit in pain, “a crinkle right here.”

A tear escapes and rolls down her cheek, another one following quickly after when Lena gently cups her face.

“I could feel your warmth,” she whispers. “I could feel your touch. You made me feel safe in this cold place.”

“Lena…”

She blinks at her lazily, almost falling asleep, her breath already calming to a softer rhythm. “Thank you for staying.”

“I couldn’t leave you.” Kara gently holds her wrist and watches as she finally succumbs to sleep. She puts her hand back on the bed, right beside her body and, after two entire days, she steps back away from her. “Sweet dreams.”

She turns around to find her sister standing near the window, her expression making it harder to keep the tears hidden, to keep them inside for a little longer.

“Kara…”

“I'll go to my place,” she whispers brokenly, shaking her head in a silent request. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

She reaches for the doorknob and quickly leaves the bedroom before Alex can say or do anything else but blink. Hot, big tears are already burning the back of her eyes, the strong emotion taking the air off her lungs as she moves in those quiet hallways towards the exit. She doesn’t even notice Maggie until she is right in front of her, looking confused as asking what happened.

“Sorry, Maggie, I just— I can’t be here now.”

She hurries to the first deserted alley she finds, flying up and away to the cold night to finally let her tears fall.

-

She doesn’t quite sleep that night.

She goes to her apartment at around two in the morning, exhausted to the bones. She forces herself to go to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower before going to bed and collapsing on the blanket, too tired to even pull it to the side to lie under it. She just ends up there… head on the pillow, eyes on the ceiling. Her mind is far away from that place, far away from the present moment.

_“Tell me, please.”_

She breathes in slowly, feeling a single tear fall from her right eye, down to her temple, and disappearing into her messy blonde hair.

_“Your heart is beating really fast.”_

She lies on her side, adjusting her pillow so she can look at the empty space beside her body. The empty space Lena had filled long before they started dating.

_“Kiss me.”_

Eyes closed, she finally lets her mind take her back to that night. That night when she first kissed Lena, when she finally confessed her feelings, when her life changed completely.

-

_Kara was staring at her again._

_She had been doing so quite a lot throughout the night since Lena arrived at her place. She didn’t know what was holding her attention like that, what was making her breathe deeply every time she would lay her eyes on her best friend, but what she_ did _know was that she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop noticing the way Lena looked so carefree, so comfortable, so relaxed on her couch as if it were her own. She couldn’t stop noticing how soft Lena seemed in that almost dim light, making Kara want to bury her face on the crook of her neck and stay there for the rest of the night. She couldn’t stop noticing the beautiful smile on Lena's kissable red lips as Winn kept trying to retell a really bad joke._

 _She couldn’t stop noticing little details on her as if it were the first time she ever saw Lena. I mean, in a way, it_ was _. They both had been so busy lately that they didn’t have the chance to see each other like they have grown used to for the last couple of months. And, for a reason, not seeing Lena for a while always made it harder to keep her feelings in check. To keep hiding it._

_But, honestly, Kara didn’t know for how long she would be able to do it._

“Give yourself a chance to be happy, little Danvers.”

_Her blue eyes moved to Maggie, so genuinely in love with her sister._

“Give yourself a chance to live your life like you want.”

_Her lungs expanded slowly as she breathed in._

“Give yourself a chance to love.”

_Her heart was starting to beat so fast it felt like it would escape her chest at any moment._

“Tell her.”

_She met soft green eyes once again and instantly opened a smile. It was just impossible not to. Not when watching the way Lena matched her smile and shook her head as if to show she wasn’t understanding a thing. Not when catching the way Lena's heart missed a beat and started to race in her ribcage. Not when noticing the way Lena bit the corner of her lip and took a deep breath._

_Oh…_

_Right then, as Lena approached, Kara wouldn’t be able to take her eyes away even if she wanted._

_“Hi.”_

_“Hi,” Kara whispered lowly, opening her arms to welcome her friend's body, to welcome her friend's warmth. She closed her eyes as hugging her tightly, as breathing in her scent, as nuzzling into her temple. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a year. I've missed you a lot.”_

_Lena wrapped her arms tighter around Kara's waist. “We should have brunch tomorrow. You can tell me about your week.”_

_“Deal.” Kara pulled away just enough to look at her, smiling softly as adjusting a few raven strands she just messed up. “You can tell me about yours. I'm dying to hear about the new update on that prototype you've been working so hard in the last couple of months.”_

_“That’s kind of classified,” Lena smirked, a hot hand coming to rest right on Kara's ribs. “You would have to sign a lot of contracts just for knowing about that.”_

_“I won’t need to.” Kara gently touched the almost invisible scar beside her right eye. “You’ll end up telling me about it anyway.”_

_Lena only blinked as the blonde traced her thumb down her cheek, down her jaw. She only inhaled as the blonde let her gaze drift down to her lips, looking intensely at it as if she couldn’t control herself, as if lost in the moment._

_“Kara?”_

_The blonde was so far gone indeed that she couldn’t even look up. “Yeah?”_

_“You— Why have you been looking at me all night like that?”_

_Slowly,_ so very slowly _, she met green eyes. “Lena…”_

_“Tell me, please.”_

_“I—” They were so close the blonde didn’t have to lean in too much to rest their foreheads together. “I shouldn’t say it. Just… not here. I don’t know if I'll be able to hold myself any longer when I do.”_

_“Kara…”_

_“Come with me.”_

_Lena clenched her hands on the back of Kara's shirt, breath caught in her lungs. “Okay.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_She nodded once. “Just take me somewhere.”_

_Everyone was too caught up in a discussion about who would play_ Mario Kart _next that they didn’t even notice both women moving hand in hand to the privacy of the bedroom. The light was so low there, barely reaching even the bed, but Kara could still see Lena's face perfectly. She could still trace her eyes on the curve of her high cheekbones, her strong jaw, her soft lips._

_She was just so pretty._

_“Kara?”_

_“Mmm?”_

_Lena squeezed her hand, smiled shyly and looked down at their feet. “Do you… still want this?”_

_She looked so adorable, even though still a little bit unsure, that Kara couldn’t help but cup her face gently,_ so _gently. “Yes,” she reassured her, their foreheads coming to rest together once again. “Of course I do. I want you.”_

_“Kara…” her hand moved higher than before, coming to rest right on the blonde's chest. “Your heart is beating really fast.”_

_“So is yours.”_

_Lena licked her lips and swallowed hard. “Kiss me.”_

_Their lips met in such a soft, gentle touch, moving slowly yet intensely as they tasted each other, as they explored. The whole world went silent, still, and all Kara could hear was her own heartbeat loud in her ears. All Kara could feel was the places where their bodies touched. She gladly lost herself in that moment. She_ found _herself in that moment. She wanted nothing more than to have Lena even closer, pressed against her, and she couldn’t help the tiny gasp that escaped her when Lena did exactly that._

_“This okay?” Lena panted into her mouth._

_“God, yes.” Kara leaned back against the wall, bringing Lena with her and deepening the kiss until both of them were breathing irregularly. She kissed down her jaw, down her neck, nipping it carefully. “Can you stay tonight?”_

_“I definitely can,” Lena answered in a whisper, hands sinking into blonde waves as she gently redirected Kara's lips back to hers._

-

As she starts to doze off, just a couple of hours before the sunrise, she finds it hard not to think if she will have to get used to this. If she will have to get used to fall asleep without Lena's warmth pressing her side, to wake up without Lena's breath on her neck. If she will have to get used to never feel the softness of her lips, to never feel the comfort of her touch. If she will have to get used to go through her day from now on without the most important person to her.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara comes back to the hospital at around eight o'clock in the morning.

She moves slowly in the hallways but with a familiarity she wishes she didn’t have. She doesn’t like the fact that she has come to know this hospital like the back of her hand, knowing exactly when to turn right or left to reach Lena's bedroom. She doesn’t like its sounds and smells, and, even though the nurses are far too friendly, she hates the fact that Lena is here.

She hates the fact that Lena has been in an accident. She hates the fact that this could all have been different if she had told Lena about Supergirl. She hates the fact that she is now so far away from the one person she loves the most.

_Come on, don’t think about it._

Kara takes a deep breath as she approaches Lena's bedroom door, tuning in on the sound of her heartbeat, letting its soft rhythm fill her ears. She tries to keep her nervousness in check, noticing that it doesn’t take long for her own heartbeat to start following the same pace as Lena's, mirroring it almost perfectly.

She stands in front of the door, taking a few last deep breaths before hearing Alex's serious voice explaining some stuff to Lena about her recovery. It's against her best judgment, but she can’t help listening to it. “… on your thigh. You'll probably have to use a cane for a while when you're allowed to leave.”

_What?_

A small sigh escapes Lena's mouth before she asks, “How long will it take by the way?”

“Depends on your recovery. But if you keep doing well, probably a week.”

Lena hums thoughtfully, clearly hating the news. Kara herself doesn’t fully know how to feel about it.

“Yeah, I know it doesn’t sound like very good news but it is,” Alex says lowly. “It really is.”

“Okay, I believe you.”

There is a moment of silence then; a moment in which Kara can almost imagine the scene in the bedroom perfectly – Alex looking at Lena with a worried expression, and Lena looking at everywhere but Alex, shifting nervously in place.

Hearing the ruffling of sheets, knowing that Lena is indeed nervous – even not knowing why – is enough to make Kara finally knock on the door. And, in the exact moment she cracks it open, green eyes find hers immediately.

“Kara.”

Kara is pretty sure she is not the only one who can hear the way Lena's heart skips a beat as seeing her there. “Hey.”

“You came back,” she whispers quietly.

“I did,” Kara says softly, frowning at Lena for even uttering a sentence like that. There is something on her – on her eyes – that makes Kara want to curl up to her warmth and forget everything that has happened in the last few days. There is something on her posture that makes Kara think she might want the same. “How are you today?”

“I'm fine. I— I'm feeling better.”

“That's good.”

Lena's lips curl up into a shy smile, and she presses them together as if to hide it. “Yeah, it is.”

Kara takes a step forward, feeling that there is _something_ different on her. She can’t help but silently study Lena for a second, trying to catch what exactly it is. Her breath slows down as her eyes scan every little detail on her – from her perfect loose raven hair to her sparkling green eyes to her soft-looking dimple to her shy smile – but she can’t place it. She can’t place it yet.

“Um,” Alex clears her throat lowly, bringing both their attention to her. She seems slightly uncomfortable with it, but Kara is the one who feels guilty for almost forgetting that her sister was there. “I should get going. I have to… work and stuff.”

“Oh,” Kara breathes out, feeling anxious all of a sudden. “Right now?”

“Yeah, I have to make sure Winn isn’t playing video games on his entire shift,” Alex jokes with an amount of fondness, smiling reassuringly at her sister as if to say that everything is okay.

“I'll see you later, then?” Kara asks, not entirely believing her, but recognizing that Alex is most likely trying to give them some privacy.

“Yeah,” Alex nods with a fond wink. “I’ll be just a phone call away if you need me.”

Kara smiles gratefully, but still a bit unnervingly. “Okay.”

Alex turns to take her jacket on a nearby chair, but a hesitant voice stops her before she can even reach it.

“Um, Alex?” Lena calls shyly, almost urgently, meeting brown eyes with an unreadable look. “I just want to thank you. For everything.”

Alex instantly opens a fond smile at her, giving her a nod of acknowledgment. “It’s fine. Just concentrate on getting better, okay?”

Lena nods, breathing out slowly. “Yeah. I will.”

Kara can clearly see that there is something unspoken happening between the two of them. Something that only makes her feel a deep amount of uneasiness when still noticing some apprehension on Alex's face as she waves them good-bye, when hearing the tensed exhale Alex lets out on the other side of the closed door before moving away quickly.

Her sister doesn’t act like that. Not unless she is trying to hide something slightly bad. Or a secret that makes her uncomfortable to keep.

“Kara?”

She decides to think about it later, to question Alex about it later, when turning around towards Lena's sweet voice. There is a glint of concern on her green eyes that makes Kara instantly move closer to her bed. “Yeah?”

“I— I've been meaning to ask,” she starts slowly, voice just above a whisper. “How did— Did you sleep well?”

“Oh. Um…” Kara puts her hands in her jeans pockets to keep them from trembling – and Lena noticing it. “Yeah, kind of, I guess. Did you?”

“I had a lot of drugs on my system. It was hard not to.”

There is something about her sentence that makes Kara wonder if something changed some given time. If maybe she had trouble sleeping, if maybe she had a bad dream. If maybe that's the reason she is acting a bit strangely, if maybe that's the reason she is looking at Kara with something close to regret.

“Is— Um, is there anything you need?”

Lena maintains eye contact for a quick moment before averting her eyes to her hands resting on her lap. “Could you maybe come closer?”

Kara is taken aback by the request, something occurring in her stomach that she doesn’t quite know how to name it, but she doesn’t hesitate to take a few steps forward until she is in arm's reach from Lena. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asks in the gentlest of voices, watching the uncharacteristic fidget movements the raven-haired woman is making. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry, I just— I’m just really sorry about last night.”

“Lena…” Kara aches to reach forward and stroke Lena's soft skin to soothe her, to calm her down. “It’s okay. It's okay, really.”

“I just hate to see you hurt.”

Kara frowns and whispers quietly before she can even contain herself, “But I hurt you first.”

Lena looks up instantly, a worried frown in between her eyebrows. Her heart thuds with a hint of sadness, with a hint of anxiousness. Kara doesn’t fully understand it until Lena moves one of her hands to the mattress as if reaching for her. “I know you didn’t mean to.”

“I did it nonetheless.”

“Kara,” Lena whispers with a soft plea. “Don’t do this.”

Kara takes a deep breath, looking down at the ground. “Sorry. I— I'm finding it hard to stop thinking that maybe all this happened because— Because I—”

“Come here,” Lena calls softly, offering her a hand and a kind smile. Kara hesitates for one second before taking her hands off her pockets to hold Lena's warm one, allowing herself to gently be tugged closer. She sits down on the small empty space on the bed, focusing on the lazy patterns Lena traces on the back of her hand. “Don’t blame yourself for what happened, darling. None of this is your fault.”

“But I—” Kara's heart is beating incredibly fast in her ribcage, and she is slightly afraid that Lena might be able to feel it. “I can’t stop thinking that maybe, if I had told you sooner about… me, none of this would have happened.”

Lena tilts her head a bit to the side, her voice even softer when she says, “You can’t know that.”

“But it would be different,” Kara whispers. “I would be able to…”

Her emerald eyes are fond, soft, kind. Her touch is comforting, soothing, distracting.

“You would be able to do what?”

Lena keeps her anchored, keeps her grounded.

“Comfort you like I want to.”

Lena doesn’t even blink. “And how would that be?”

“Lena…” Kara whispers again, voice breaking with all the emotions in her chest. “Please.”

Lena's face softens even more, and, for the second time since last night, Kara really looks at her. She focuses on every single blue and gold dot on her green eyes, losing herself to them, opening herself up to the only person who knows her a tiny bit better than even Alex does.

“I want to hold you. I want to feel you,” she whispers in a barely audible voice. “I need to know that you are okay.”

“I am,” Lena whispers equally lowly, bringing Kara even closer so they can rest their foreheads together. “I promise you. I just hate to see this sadness in your eyes.”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” Kara admits, brushing her nose on Lena's. “I thought— I thought I was never going to see your eyes again.”

Lena lets out a shaky sigh, fingers moving up Kara's neck to scratch her scalp. “Kara…”

“I thought I was no longer going to hear your voice.”

“Don’t do this,” Lena whispers, biting her bottom lip. “Please.”

“I’m sorry.” Kara moves her hand to Lena's waist, thumb stroking her hip bone. “I’m just really glad that you are awake.”

Lena's lips curl up a tiny bit. “I am, too.”

Kara swallows hard, hands feeling unsteady. She has probably never been so nervous to whisper, “I really do love you.”

“I know,” Lena whispers closer to her mouth. “I know you do, darling. I've never doubted it. Not with the way you've always looked at me.”

Kara closes her eyes and concentrates harder on Lena's heartbeat, attempting to keep her feelings in check. It takes her a long time, but when she notices what she is doing, when she wonders if she will be allowed to keep this close to Lena in the future, her chest aches in a way that she finds it hard even to breathe.

“What is it?” Lena asks worriedly, pulling back just enough to look at her. If anything, the fact that Lena instantly catches the difference in her mood makes it all so much harder to Kara. “I’m sorry, darling, did you—”

“I just can’t do this without you.”

Lena moves her other hand to cup her face. “Yes, you can. You can do anything.”

“I can’t.” Kara shakes her head, sniffing lowly. “My life is not the same without you in it.”

“Kara…”

“I cannot go back to a life where you aren’t in it,” Kara whispers brokenly, but never _ever_ avoiding eye contact. “I’m so much happier when I'm with you. I'm so much happier when I know that I will see you at the end of the day, when I know that I will be able to hold you close and breathe in your scent. I'm so much happier when I wake up and the first thing I see is your beautiful face.”

“Darling…”

“I know life without you, Lena. I cannot go back to that.”

Lena is quiet for a long moment, breathing in and out quite forcibly, though her fingers never stop stroking Kara’s hair. “You’re making this so much more difficult.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, darling.” Lena laughs lowly, biting down on her trembling lip. “I— I honestly wouldn’t expect anything different.”

“You’re everything to me. You know I will always fight for you.”

Lena fondly caresses Kara's cheek before moving her hand down to rest right above her heart. “I know.”

“Tell me what I need to do,” she pleads. “Tell me how I can get you back.”

“You haven’t lost me.” Lena frowns and breathes out slowly. “I haven’t stopped loving you, Kara. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I woke up today. I don’t think— I don’t think I can ever stop loving you, and it breaks my heart that I need to ask you to give me space and time so I can think about this and sort my feelings out.”

Kara nods slowly, sniffing once again. “It's okay. I can do that.”

Lena smiles sadly at her. “Can you really?”

“It won’t be easy,” Kara gently rests their foreheads together, “but I'll do anything for you.”

“It won’t be easy for me either.”

They get quiet after that, lost in their own heads but still comforting each other with gentle caresses. A long, long time passes without them moving, and when Kara is finally about to pull away, Lena breathes out the last thing she expects to hear.

“Can I kiss you?”

The whole world seems to stop. If possible, this is the right moment for her body to show her she is capable of having a heart attack because… Honestly, she can’t possibly have heard her right. “I’m sorry?”

“Can I kiss you?” Lena repeats more firmly, pressing her hand a bit harder on Kara's chest. “Please. I just… I need to remember.”

“Remember?” Kara whispers in puzzlement. “Lena—”

“Just… _please_ , Kara,” Lena half asks, half begs, and Kara is completely helpless.

“Okay.”

Her heart flutters when Lena nuzzles on her cheek and then slowly closes the distance between their mouths. Lena's lips are just as soft, just as warm, just as exploratory as Kara remembers. But she still feels something different as Lena presses harder on her. It's like she is really trying to remember what it feels like to kiss her. It's like she is trying to… memorize how it feels to kiss her.

“Lena,” Kara murmurs in her mouth, frowning as feeling the characteristic salty taste of tears. “ _Babe_ , tell me— Please, tell me this isn’t a good-bye kiss.”

“I— Kara, I—” Lena swallows hard, her voice shaky, her fingers scratching the back of Kara's neck in a familiar movement. “I want so much to reassure you that it's not. I want so much to reassure myself that this isn’t the last time I'm going to kiss you. But I can’t do that to us.”

“Lena…”

“You're my angel, Kara,” Lena whispers. “You have always been the best part of my life. You have taught me so much ever since I met you. But I don’t know what is going to happen between us from now on. I don’t want to make you a promise when I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep it.”

Her heart breaks into a thousand tiny little pieces, and Kara bites hard on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I understand.”

Silence sets down upon them, but it doesn’t stretch for too long before Lena nuzzles once again on Kara's cheek as if asking for permission to kiss her one more time. When the blonde tilts her head forward in a quiet agreement, Lena pecks her lips with such a tender touch it soothes the ache in her chest a little bit. “I have no right to ask, but could you— Would you mind to stay with me until I'm allowed to leave the hospital?”

“Of course not,” Kara whispers instantly. “I’ll be with you for as long as you want me to.”

-

_“Okay. What's wrong?”_

_Kara jumped slightly on her couch when Alex threw herself on the empty spot beside her. She had been distracted for the entirety of their sister night, and Alex had obviously noticed it, but that didn’t stop Kara from looking dumbfounded at her. “What?”_

_“You have the crinkle, Kara,” Alex explained with a soft laugh, pointing her forefinger to the space in between her own eyebrows. “Besides, I don’t think I've ever seen you looking at the floor with such deep concentration.” Her voice dropped down to a softer tone when asking, “What happened?”_

_Kara was quiet for a moment before sighing in defeat and tilting her head back to lay it on the couch. “I almost told her today,” she said in a whisper, with no need to explain it any further because Alex knew exactly what she was talking about._

_“Almost?”_

_Kara nodded slowly. “Yeah. Almost. Again.”_

_“What stopped you this time?”_

_“I don’t know.” Kara frowned, unable not to remember how those soft green eyes had looked beautiful that morning in the sunrise. “I was just one second away from telling her I'm Supergirl when I just… dropped it out and changed the subject.”_

_Alex chuckled kindly. “None of your three hundred speeches seemed appropriate at the time?”_

_Kara looked at her in feign offense and pouted. “Don’t make fun of me. This is serious.”_

_“I know it is,” Alex agreed, reaching out to weakly squeeze her shoulder. “I’m just trying to… lighten up the mood.”_

_Kara smiled at her. “It might be working.”_

_“Yeah, I'm your sister. I know how to make you feel better.” Alex touched the crinkle on her forehead, and Kara instantly tried to ease it. She couldn’t tell if she was successful, though. “I also know how much this matters to you. If you want to talk, I'm here to listen.”_

_Kara opened a small grateful smile at her and moved her head on the back of the couch to look at the ceiling. “I just— I don’t know. I think it is way easier to tell her on my mind than it is in real life,” she admitted lowly._

_“Why is that?”_

_“Because I—” Kara cleared her throat. “I'm afraid she won’t look me in the eye anymore when I say the words.”_

_Alex sounded puzzled when softly asking, “Why do you think that?”_

_“I have been lying to her ever since we met, Alex,” Kara answered lowly, biting down on the corner of her lip as she thought for a moment. “I never meant to do that to her. I never meant to let it stretch for so long, but I— I can’t really help thinking that I might have waited too long to tell her.”_

_“That's not true, Kara.”_

_“I'm afraid once I tell her—” Kara swallowed hard and averted her eyes to the muted TV. “I guess I'm afraid she will think that all we have been through was a lie. I'm afraid she will doubt everything I have told her, everything I have done for her.”_

_“Kara, she won’t.” Alex scooted closer, her hand drifting on Kara’s shoulder blades to side-hug her. “I don’t think Lena will ever doubt your feelings for her. This might sound cheesy, but you honest to God look at her like she put the stars in the sky. It's kind of disgusting sometimes.”_

_Kara let out a weak laugh. “Stop it.”_

_“I mean it.” Alex drifted her hand up and down Kara's left arm. “I think she deserves to know. It’s never too late to talk to her.”_

_“Yeah, I know you're right.” Kara laid her head on her sister's shoulder, finding her warmth soothing. “I_ am _going to tell her. I know it sounds stupid, but it's like I'm waiting for the right moment to do it. I really do want her to know everything about me like I know everything about her. And I want her to know before we get married.”_

_Alex tapped her fingers lightly on her bicep. “How is it possible that it was so easy to ask her to marry you than to tell her you’re Supergirl?”_

_“I don’t know.” Kara sighed, her neck burning a tiny bit. “I didn’t plan on proposing to her. I was just really happy and I kind of… thought out loud.”_

_Alex chuckled lowly, laying her head on top of Kara's. “None of this is stupid, you know. Whenever you tell her, I'm sure everything is going to be alright.”_

_“Promise me?”_

_“I promise.”_

_Kara nudged her ribs playfully. “How can you promise me something like that?”_

_“Because I know it,” Alex answered simply. “I’m sure she will love you anyway. She might get confused for a while but she is going to come back to you. In the end, you guys will find your way back to each other.”_

_“I hope so, Alex,” Kara whispered with a touch of sadness. “I really do hope so.”_

-

Lena leaves the hospital a day ahead of schedule.

According to the doctors, Alex included, her recovery has been pretty great. So far, it was better than any of them could have expected, so they didn’t really see a point on keeping her there.

But Kara has a strong feeling that that decision was actually made because of Lena Luthor's powerful arguments. She knows first hand how hard it is to argue with her when she points out the best details.

 _“Everything that needs to be done now can be done at home,”_ Lena had pointed out, and nobody could really argue. Besides, she is as healthy as she could be, and her body has been healing just fine. She still has some small wounds that require bandages changes every five to six hours so it won’t get infected and she also has to walk with a cane for a while – just like Alex said – because of a small injury on her right thigh that has made her leg a bit weak to fully support her weight. But she is _fine_.

And she can’t wait to finally go home.

Kara can see it in the way she restlessly taps her fingers on her left knee as George takes them to the penthouse. It's kind of cute actually, and Kara can’t help the happiness inside of her for being able to see it. For being _there_ to see it.

“Sam said she will come in ten minutes,” Lena tells her as soon as her phone goes off with a new text. “She will just go over to L-Corp very quickly to take a few files Jess has for me.”

“You already going to work?” Kara asks with a smile because, _of course_ , Lena will work when she should be resting.

“I have a lot to catch up on.” Lena meets her gaze with a playful, slightly teasing expression. “ _Somebody_ didn’t let me work like I wanted to.”

Kara laughs lowly then shifts awkwardly on her seat because she was just about to scoot closer and hug Lena like she used to, like she would have done by now if they were a hundred percent okay. “I let you work just fine. I even helped you answer your emails.”

“I was joking, darling.” Lena smiles at her all too knowingly, and Kara knows her subtle shift wasn’t even a little bit successful. “I’m grateful for everything you did for me in that hospital.”

Kara just breathes slowly before averting her gaze to her hands. _I would have done anything for you_ , she thinks but can’t really bring herself to utter the words. She doesn’t think it would make much of a difference anyway, so she lets the silence that sets upon them stretch for the entirety of the last three minutes it takes George to get to the penthouse.

“Can you help me get settled?” Lena asks almost shyly when George enters her building, and Kara is already nodding before she finishes the sentence. “I have no idea where my keys are.”

Kara chuckles fondly before getting out of the car to round it and help Lena out through the other door. If they were a hundred percent okay, she would probably have made a small joke in the lines of _what would you do without me_ but she knows she doesn’t have the right to do that anymore.

_Don’t dwell on it, Kara._

She gives her best to concentrate solely on helping Lena going upstairs, on briefly thanking George for driving and making sure to smile at him in an attempt to erase the concerned frown on his forehead.

He surely didn’t mean to, but Kara knows he must have listened to their weird conversation. He always pretended he didn’t hear anything – especially when that would have been the mortifying sounds coming out from his boss throat – but, on serious situations like this one, he has always shown his concern. It’s like he can’t help it. It's like a soft reminder that Kara and Lena have a special place in his heart and that he cares about them.

This is surely a small comfort to Kara's heart.

She unlocks the front door and helps Lena inside the living room, which is illuminated by the pretty golden rays of the sun. Everything here is calm and warm and cozy. It is such a completely different sight to the hospital room, but surely a beautiful one to come home to.

“It's good to be back,” Lena whispers almost to herself. “I missed here.”

“I bet,” Kara says in the same low tone, smiling fondly at her. “There is nothing like home.”

“Yeah.” Lena leans closer to her as if seeking for her warmth, and the air leaves Kara’s lungs _so_ slowly she might as well have just stopped breathing. “There isn’t.”

“Look,” Kara whispers, touching Lena's hand briefly to get her attention. “I know Sam will be here for you, but will you call me if you need anything?”

Lena's eyes shine with something very close to expectation. “Won’t you mind it?”

“No, of course not,” Kara answers with a small frown. “You can call me any time of the day, and I'll come to you in a heartbeat.”

Lena opens the most beautiful smile at her, soft-looking dimples appearing on her cheeks. “You’re really an angel, Kara.”

“I just really care about you,” she says quietly, blushing a bit, and Lena reaches forward to weakly squeeze her bicep. “I mean it.”

“I know you do,” Lena says with a fond tilt of her head. “I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for having you in my life.”

Her very last sentence makes hope grow inside of Kara's chest. It's something she has tried not to focus on since Lena found out about her, since the accident, but she has no control over it. She can’t help feeling hopeful that everything is going to be alright someday, that they will find a way to still be friends. With all honesty, Kara won't mind if that's all she will get after everything that happened. She won’t mind it because, at least, she will be able to be there for Lena when she needs her to.

Lena drifts her hand down to Kara's forearm, the movement bringing the blonde back to the present. “Can you get me some water, darling, please?”

“Sure.”

Kara goes to the kitchen while Lena settles herself on the couch, already reaching for an iPad on the coffee table. She watches with an incredible amount of fondness, with an incredible amount of… normalcy as Lena types something out. It's almost as if a week prior Lena hadn’t been in a car crash, and Kara can’t help but feel inspired by this. Lena is such a strong woman. Such a smart and powerful and incredible woman who doesn’t let anything get her down. She inspires Kara with every little thing she does, with every kind smile and every kind word she offers strangers on the street or small children in delicate conditions in the hospitals.

“Thanks, darling.”

Lena inspires her in a way she doesn’t even know how to feel about it. Well, in a way, she knows _blessed_ is a word to describe it, but it's impossible not to remember that she has never told Lena that. They have known each other for so long, they have dated for a little bit more than a year, and Kara has _never_ told her that.

“Kara, you okay?”

Lena's small voice makes her come back to herself with a small jump, and she instantly opens a smile not to get her worried. It's the second time in less than five minutes that it happens. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.”

Lena carefully sets the iPad on the spot beside her and takes a sip of water. “Thinking about what?”

“About how you inspire me,” Kara answers simply, unable to avert her eyes from those gorgeous green ones. “I’m remembering every little thing you do that inspires me.”

“And why are you remembering that?”

“Because I've never told you this,” Kara confesses, sitting down beside her but not too close for them to accidentally touch each other. “You inspire me every day ever since the day we met, and I have never told you. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I haven’t told you so many things about me.”

“I don’t either,” Lena murmurs, and it is almost like a punch to Kara's gut.

“Lena…” Kara pleads, frowning slightly. “I want to change that. I want you to know everything about me if you want it, too.”

“I've always wanted it, Kara,” Lena whispers almost brokenly. “Honestly, I thought I already did.”

Kara lets the air out slowly through her nose, her chest aching immensely with Lena's words. “I’m sorry,” she whispers under her breath. “I shouldn’t have waited for the right moment to tell you. I shouldn’t have waited for the right moment to be honest with you.”

Lena looks down at her glass of water. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“I shouldn’t have done a lot of things and I'm really sorry.”

Lena runs her forefinger around the rim of the glass and stays quiet.

“If you ever forgive me for what I've done, I promise I will accept whatever decision you make for us.”

Lena's heart thuds with nothing but sadness. “And what if I don’t?”

“I will accept whatever decision you make,” Kara repeats, resting her hand in the empty space between their bodies, wanting _so badly_ to reach out for her. “I love you, Lena. I want to be in your life in any way you want me to. I just want to be there for you. But if you want me to go, I will.”

A long, quiet moment stretches out between them before Lena slowly reaches for her hand, holding it and squeezing it weakly as she takes a deep breath. “For now, I think— I think you should go.”

She won’t deny that her heart breaks even more right in that second, but, true to her words, she nods silently. “Okay.”

“Kara,” Lena whispers urgently, holding her hand tighter and stopping her from moving even before she does. “I just think I won’t be able to stay away from you if you're here for a minute longer. You make it so hard for me to pretend I just don’t want to throw myself in your arms and forget everything that has happened. But I can’t do that. I—”

“You can’t do that to us, I know.”

Lena meets her gaze with eyes filled with unshed tears. “I’m asking you to go while my heart screams at me to let you stay.”

 _I know_ , Kara murmurs sadly to herself, unable not to listen to Lena's heartbeat. “I’m sorry,” she says while brushing her thumb on Lena's skin. “I don’t want to make this any more difficult to you, I never meant to, so I'll just go. Sam must be arriving anyway.”

A beat of silence. “Yeah.”

“Just… take all the time you need, alright?” Kara whispers. “I’ll wait for you for as long as I need to.”

A single tear rolls down her cheek, but Lena still opens a smile. “Just go.”

Kara brings Lena's hand up to her lips to lay a soft kiss there on her knuckles before moving towards the door and carefully closing it behind her. The wooden piece isn’t enough to stop her from hearing the muffled sob Lena lets escape as soon as she walks down the hall. Probably nothing would have been enough, but she keeps going anyway. She keeps walking down the hall even though her heart is the one who screams at her now to stay, to go back to Lena and hold her tight.

She just keeps on walking and walking and walking.


	4. Chapter 4

“Supergirl, come in.”

Kara comes to a slow stop over the night sky of National City, breathing in deeply the crispy cold air. “I'm listening.”

“I just got some information that there is a small fire on the Eastern part of the city,” Winn says, his voice a bit muffled as he chews on something. “It's nothing too serious. I mean, it has barely started, and the fire department is already heading that way, but do you maybe want to take it?”

A while ago Winn wouldn’t get even remotely close on calling her for something that doesn’t necessarily require her assistance. He wouldn’t call her for something the local fire department or the local police station or the entire DEO could handle perfectly with their own training. It’s like a non-spoken agreement that has set upon them over the last few years – if Supergirl wasn’t a hundred percent needed in an emergency, they wouldn’t even consider on reaching out to her.

But… that is something that has changed completely over the last few weeks.

No matter the time, no matter the place. If a cat was trapped on top of a tree or if an old lady needed help crossing the street. Supergirl would be there in a second and would be gone before anyone could blink.

It's almost like the good, old days when she first came out to National City. When she was so excited about her powers that all she wanted to do was help whoever needed. When she was so inspired to aid people yet completely new on this that she kind of messed up but _learned_.

It's like she is trying to reconnect with her true self. Maybe trying to remember who she is, but most likely trying to fill in the void in her life without the only person she has always loved with her whole heart.

_Don’t go there._

“Yeah,” she ends up answering lowly, nodding in agreement even though nobody can really see her. “I’m on my way.”

“Great.” Winn's kind smile is audible in his soft voice, and Kara knows he is politely pretending not to have noticed her pause. “It should be quick.”

“Okay.”

She flies over to where he instructed, landing barely ten seconds later in front of a building. She can’t help noticing the few concerned people who have already gathered around to watch, but her gaze is fixed on the thin layer of black smoke lazily rising up to the dark sky. It's hard not to instantly remember another scene pretty similar to the one currently happening right before her eyes, so she frowns deeply in concentration in order to keep her thoughts away from it.

Taking a long, calming breath, she focuses single-mindedly on using her x-ray vision to check if there is anyone still inside the facility, not taking more than three seconds to become a blur of red and blue as safely bringing people out to the sidewalk. She catches sight of some firefighters instantly stepping forward to help them out while she makes the slightly growing temperature drop down with a ghost of freeze breath.

“Yeah, baby!” Winn cheers immediately over her earpiece, maybe a tiny bit too loud for her liking. “National City is safe and sound again.”

Kara chuckles lowly, shaking her head a bit right before pushing herself up and flying away to the starry sky. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

“Let me check,” Winn hums for a moment, the low, constant sound of him typing away in the background.

This really does feel like the old days when they had just started doing this, and Kara can’t help thinking how much she would like to go home to Lena right now. She would love nothing more than to feel her soothing warmth close to her body while they would talk about their day in soft, whispered voices. While they would eat some Thai food with a movie or a documentary playing in a low sound. While they would—

“Well, it looks like the city is pretty quiet for now.”

Kara lets out a quiet sigh, forcing herself to push those thoughts away before she starts to cry. “Okay. Thanks, Winn.”

“You can go home if you would like,” out of nowhere, comes J'onn's deep though soft and kind voice, surprising the blonde completely.

“J’onn. I didn’t know you were there.”

“He just came in,” Winn answers, scoffing a little. “Saying I was being too loud.”

“It’s like you’re playing one of your games,” J'onn complains, and Kara can’t help a fond chuckle. “It’s been a long day. You both should save the rest of your energy, go home and just sleep for a good couple of hours.”

“Alright,” Winn stretches out the word, quickly typing something on the keyboard. “Okay. I just connected my phone on the system and I will get a text if anything pops up. I can call you if you’re needed.”

“Deal,” Kara agrees, and despite their clear effort, she instantly recognizes that they are trying to look out for her and make sure she doesn’t overthrow herself at work. She can’t help feeling incredibly blessed for having such good friends as a part of her family. “Thank you, guys. Really.”

“We will see you tomorrow,” Winn answers kindly.

“Have a nice evening, Supergirl,” J'onn says, his voice heavy with fondness. “You did a great work today. As always.”

“Thank you,” she whispers lowly, unable to contain a smile. “Good night, guys.”

“Night, Supergirl.”

-

 _The elevator doors opened to the top floor of the building with a soft_ ding _, and Kara stepped out of it feeling just a tiny bit nervous._

 _Just a_ tiny _bit._

_Just a minimum amount of nervousness that made her hold the bouquet of plumerias firmly on her right hand, but not strong enough to accidentally crush it._

_It was just… Well, it was just two days to her first anniversary with Lena. Two days. Two days to officially complete one year of dating the most incredible and gorgeous woman in the entire world. Two days to officially reveal every single one of the surprises she so carefully planned over the last two months._

_She had actually come to L-Corp with the purpose of revealing just one of those surprises. After all, Lena was under the impression that they would stay somewhere in National City to celebrate the special date only on the weekend._ Only on the weekend. _She didn’t have a clue that they would actually be in an entirely different yet spectacular city in two days. She was certainly not expecting that they would be exploring the streets of—_

_Well, why ruin the surprise so soon? She was about to find out anyway._

_“Miss Danvers,” Jess greeted with a whisper as soon as seeing her, smiling fondly at the flowers on the blonde's grip. “I would like to say it is a surprise to see you here, but it actually isn’t.”_

_Kara smiled and adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. “It’s good to see you, too.”_

_“If I could describe you right now, I would say you look terrified,” Jess joked, a slight teasing glint on her brown eyes that soften quickly. “I would also maybe tell you to loosen your grip just a little on that beautiful bouquet.”_

_Kara took a deep breath and did exactly as Jess instructed, smiling gratefully at her. “I shouldn’t be this nervous, you know. I'm probably going to mess everything up if I don’t calm down.”_

_“Well, according to what Miss Luthor keeps insisting on telling me almost every time you leave, that's actually part of your charm.”_

_Kara couldn’t help but groan lowly as the words registered on her mind; her neck and cheeks burning incredibly hot. “Are you trying to help or not? I know you will never stop teasing me if Lena really does tell you that.”_

_“Oh, she does. But at least I know she is happy,” Jess playfully shrugged a shoulder, then started to gather some papers on her desk without even looking down at them. “Now, if you excuse me, Miss Danvers. I have to take these files to HR. I probably won’t be back at my desk for the next… say fifteen minutes?”_

_“More than enough,” Kara agreed, shaking her head a bit but still opening a grateful smile. “Thank you for everything you have done for us. You know Lena and I really appreciate it.”_

_“I’m glad to help,” Jess smiled kindly. “God knows how much you guys deserve this break.”_

I just hope Lena likes it _, Kara quietly thought to herself, watching as Jess rounded the desk and moved away to another hallway, high heels clicking on the polished floor. The blonde took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair, adjusting a curl over her shoulder, before finally moving towards Lena’s office._

_There was just a low, uninterrupted sound of someone typing away on a keyboard coming from the opened doors; the rhythm ceasing only to a soft knock on the wooden piece. “Special delivery for Miss Luthor.”_

_Green eyes looked up as soon as hearing her familiar voice. “Kara,” she greeted, immediately opening the most breathtaking smile as leaning back on her chair. “I didn’t know you were coming.”_

_“I was in the neighborhood.”_

_Lena gave her an all too knowingly look. “Were you really?”_

_Kara shrugged a shoulder, trying really hard not to blush already. With the growing smirk on Lena's red lips, though, she knew she wasn’t successful. “Um, can I come in? Are you busy?”_

_“For you? Never.” Lena got up from her chair and moved towards the blonde to meet her halfway across the office, her entire expression showing nothing but pure fondness as gazing down at the plumerias. “Those are beautiful.”_

_“I thought about you as soon as I saw it.” Kara's voice was barely a whisper, her hands shaking slightly as gently handing the bouquet over to Lena. “I just couldn’t leave it behind.”_

_“I loved it. Thank you.” Lena inclined her head for a kiss, and Kara expectantly leaned in to press their lips together. Her hands came to rest on either side of Lena's hips like it almost always did in order to bring her even closer, in order to better feel her curves. She squeezed her gently, softly, but never failing on making Lena let out a small gasp. “You know, our anniversary is actually in two days,” Lena panted in her mouth, sinking her free hand in blonde waves._

_“Oh, I know.” Kara moved her mouth to Lena's jaw, kissing a path towards her ear, breath hot in the woman’s skin. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for the last two months.”_

_“Oh?” Lena breathed questionably, her chest rising and falling quickly. “Haven’t you?”_

_“No,” Kara answered in a whisper, softly nibbling on Lena's earlobe before pulling away to look into her eyes. To look into her beautiful green eyes that had almost completely changed to black due to the growing dilated pupils. “There is a reason for that actually, and I— I kind of have something to ask you.”_

_Lena nodded distractedly, biting down on her bottom lip as if to hold herself back. “Okay.”_

_Kara was feeling incredibly hot, all her body screaming at her to just shut up and resume on kissing that perfect red mouth. “Would you, um—” she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Would you like to go to Paris with me?”_

_Lena was clearly taken aback by the question. She was clearly not expecting such a sentence to leave Kara's mouth right in that second. “I beg your pardon?”_

_“For our anniversary,” Kara explained, reaching out to nervously adjust her glasses. “I thought— I thought we could go explore the streets of Paris. Maybe visit one of their famous art galleries, and watch the sun setting over the city with the Eiffel Tower on the horizon. Maybe have dinner in one of your favorite restaurants with the best food and the best wine, a-and— Um, maybe some other stuff, too.”_

_Again, she tried really hard not to blush with the last sentence, knowing she failed miserably, but it didn’t seem like Lena had noticed it. She was too busy frowning adorably in confusion. “I don’t think I'm following what you're saying.”_

_“I’m inviting you to go to Paris with me for our first anniversary,” Kara said in a very low whisper, her voice rising in the end like she was uttering a question. “I— I already set everything up. I mean, Jess even helped me so we wouldn’t mess up with your schedule.”_

_“You did?”_

_Kara nodded, growing nervous by each second. “Look, I— I know you hate flying. I know you hate unexpected airplane trips, but if you want to go, we will leave only tomorrow.”_

_Lena just stared at her for what felt like an eternity; her green eyes searching Kara's face as if she was trying to find something that would tell her all this was some kind of a joke._

_“It’s okay if you don’t want to go,” Kara said gently, not entirely sure of what to do with Lena's silence. “We can cancel everything and stay here in National City. I just really want to spend some quality time with you.”_

_Lena's frown softened, and she swallowed hard. “You really planned that for us?”_

_“I wanted it to be special. I wanted_ you _to feel special.”_

_“Oh, darling,” Lena breathed out in a shaky voice, sounding on the verge of tears. She rested her forehead on Kara's shoulder, and the blonde instantly held her close in a warm embrace. “I don’t deserve you.”_

_Kara frowned worriedly, recognizing that the mumbled words weren’t really meant for her to hear. “Babe—”_

_“No, I— I mean it.” Lena moved closer, hiding her face on the crook of Kara's neck, her breath coming out in shaky puffs of air. “Nobody has ever gotten even close on doing something like this for me.”_

_“It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.”_

_Lena was quiet for a while, lost in her thoughts. It was hard to know what was going on inside her head, but Kara waited patiently until the woman lifted herself from the safe place on her neck to press the gentlest of kisses on her mouth._

_“You don’t have to give me an answer right now,” Kara whispered. “You can think about it and tell me later today.”_

_“I don’t have to think about it.”_

_Kara rested their foreheads together; her heart almost a beat away from leaping from her chest, her voice so very low when asking, “Does that mean you maybe want to go?”_

_“Of course I do,” Lena answered instantly, a smile spreading on her soft lips even though her eyes were shining with tears. “How could I ever say no to that?”_

-

_How could I ever say no to that?_

Kara throws herself at her bed, at the now constantly cold side Lena used to lie down, and lets out a low sigh. She isn’t quite sure why she is thinking about that trip to Paris, why she is relieving one of the best days of her life on her mind over and over again, but she can’t really bring herself to stop it.

It probably would be a good idea to distract herself actually, because the growing pain in her chest is only getting worse and she just misses Lena _so freaking much_.

She misses her sweet Lena like she has never missed her before, and it is breaking her heart that she can no longer reach out to her. It is breaking her heart that she is no longer allowed to be there for her at the end of the day, to hold her close and to listen to her soft voice.

_You make it so hard for me to pretend I just don’t want to throw myself in your arms and forget everything that has happened._

It's been three weeks already. Three weeks since Kara walked away from her best friend, feeling broken and helpless for leaving her alone in the living room.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers quietly to the night, half hoping the wind will carry her words to Lena's ears. “I’m really sorry, babe.”

Her blue eyes tiredly close to the dimly lit room, and her mind safely takes her to a dreamless and soundless sleep.

_I'm asking you to go while my heart screams at me to let you stay._

She doesn’t know for how long she is cozily wrapped up in her blanket, falling deeper and deeper into this quiet bubble, but, when she wakes up to a soft knock on her front door, it's still pretty dark out and the entire world is still—

Wait, a soft knock?

Her first immediate thought is _Lena_ , and she can’t help herself from quickly moving to a sitting position. But… she can’t be right. Lena would not come at her place at around – she glances at the clock on the nightstand – two o’clock in the morning. She would not come to her at this late hour after everything that happened between them.

Kara is ninety-nine percent sure of it.

Still, she frowns deeply as quietly moving through her apartment to the front door, desperately trying to remember _who_ that familiar heartbeat belongs to. She doesn’t want to be disappointed, doesn’t want her mind playing tricks on her because, seriously, that rhythm could only belong to—

“Sara,” she whispers in surprise, opening the door but not quite believing her eyes. “Sara Lance.”

The woman's smirk only grows bigger at Kara's complete shocking expression. “My favorite Kryptonian.”

“What— Why are you— How—”

“I see you are still a complete dork,” Sara says playfully though her voice has a touch of fondness. “To simply answer all your questions, I have been to that secret organization of yours this morning and—”

“This… _morning_?”

“Yeah.” Sara shrugs indifferently like that is not a big of a deal, but her face gets this thoughtful expression that Kara really _doesn’t_ want to know. “I might have gotten distracted while chatting with your lovely sister and I lost track of time completely because it seemed like I had _a lot_ to catch up on.”

“Oh, Rao,” Kara groans lowly, closing her eyes and trying really hard not to blush. “Please, stop. I don’t want to know why I haven’t seen Alex all day today.”

“It’s not like that, you dork.” Sara lightly kicks her shin and then crosses her arms over her chest. “I met your amazing sister-in-law as well, and we all got engaged in a pretty nice conversation about life. They might also have briefly told me about you, so I thought it would be a good idea to come to visit.”

“At two in the morning?”

“I'll be gone before you notice it.”

“Right,” Kara whispers, chuckling lowly before stepping aside in a silent invitation for the other woman to come in. “It’s good to see you, actually.”

Sara playfully winks at her. “Thought so.”

“Can I get you something to drink?” Kara offers, clicking the door shut and moving to the kitchen. “I think Alex hid a bottle of scotch somewhere in the cupboard.”

“I’ll never say no to free booze,” Sara replies with a smirk as moving over to the couch and settling herself against the cushions. She looks around the apartment with a curious gaze, taking it all in as Kara serves a good amount of the amber liquid. “Your place is pretty much like I've always thought it would be like.”

Kara lets out a chuckle. “Thanks?”

“It kind of screams _Kara Danvers lives here_ , and I like it,” Sara jokes, accepting the glass Kara offers and taking a long, satisfying sip of the drink. “Hm, Alex has a great taste on scotch. Just like she has a great taste on women.”

“Please,” Kara groans loudly, stretching the word out in a dramatic way. “Don’t start.”

“I’m just playing with you,” Sara teases, nudging Kara's ribs fondly. “Just trying to make you comfortable to tell me what happened between you and Lena.”

“You're doing the opposite,” Kara murmurs, shifting in place a little. “But, um, haven’t Alex already told you what happened?”

“Not quite. She told me about the accident, mentioned you are not with Lena for the moment, but said it really wasn’t her story to tell.”

Kara hums thoughtfully, averting her gaze to her hands. “That seems to be Alex's catchphrase these days. She has been trying to avoid telling me something that happened in the hospital because of a promise she made to Lena.”

Sara snorts fondly. “Typical of old sisters. But maybe she is just trying to— I don’t know. Maybe she just doesn’t want to make things worse.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

They get quiet for a moment before Sara shifts a tiny bit closer to her and asks gently, “Do you feel like sharing it with me? It's okay if you don’t want to, though.”

“No, maybe, um—” Kara feels the crinkle forming on her forehead and tries to soothe it away. “Maybe I will feel better talking about it.”

“I’m a very good listener.”

Kara smiles gratefully at her. “I don’t doubt it,” she says in a low voice, taking a deep breath. “So, um, it all started when Lena kind of— When Lena found out about my superhero identity.”

Kara's voice rises in the end like she is making a question, but Sara seems to be way too surprised to notice it. “ _Oh_ , I seriously thought she already knew it.”

“She didn’t,” Kara whispers in a small voice, shaking her head a bit while reaching out to distractedly play with the hem of her T-shirt. “I— I really wanted to tell her. I almost did, like, a hundred times before. But I couldn’t make myself utter the words.”

“You were afraid to lose her?”

Kara meets her warm blue eyes at her understanding and soft-sounding voice; her chest feeling heavier. “Lena has been betrayed by a lot of people in her life already. Her family, her friends… I could not be on that list as well. I could not do that to her.”

A sad frown appears in between Sara's eyebrows, and her expression opens to show nothing but sympathy. “Yeah, I guess I know the feeling.”

They get quiet for a moment as losing themselves in their own memories; the whole apartment filling in only with the sounds coming from the opened windows. It’s kind of a soothing murmur actually, but Kara still finds herself searching across the city to listen to the rhythm of just one steady heartbeat. Even though it is far away, it is still loud and clear to her ears, almost like it is coming right from the end of the hallway. Almost like—

“How did Lena react when she found out?” Sara asks in a low voice, breaking the silence and Kara's train of thought. “Did she got mad?”

Kara blinks and focuses her gaze on a loose thread of her T-shirt. Her voice is once again small as she answers, “At first, I guess. She was really hurt, though, when she saw me wearing the suit. I think— That conversation was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life.”

“But I bet it wasn’t harder than having to walk away from her,” Sara murmurs quietly, and Kara only nods sadly. “How long has it been since you last saw each other?”

“Three weeks. I—” Kara lifts her hand to adjust her glasses but just ends up awkwardly touching her nose because she isn’t actually wearing them. “I kind of saw her yesterday. She was… having dinner in a pretty nice restaurant downtown.”

“Alone?”

Kara shakes her head, pushing the loose thread away from her clothing. “She was with an old friend from Metropolis. If I remember correctly, her name is Lana Lang.”

Sara hums thoughtfully to herself. “Well, let’s just hope this old friend is helping Lena to—”

Both their blue eyes fix on the front door as the sound of a soft knock echoes in the quiet living room.

“You waiting for someone?”

Kara shakes her head again, frowning deeply as sitting up straight on the couch. She is slightly anxious to do so, but, after swallowing hard, she lets her hearing focuses on the raced heartbeat just outside her front door. _Just_ outside her front door. “Oh, Rao.”

“What is it?” Sara asks worriedly, her body tensing up all over. “I didn’t come here to fight.”

“No, it's not— Just give me a second.”

Sara calls her name questionably, but the blonde gets up and moves closer to the entrance in a quick motion. Her heart is beating impossibly fast against her chest even though the whole world around her seems to slow down. It's almost like the entire universe is stopping to watch this moment, to watch what is about to happen as the blonde reaches for the doorknob to open the door and to reveal the gorgeous raven-haired woman standing right on the other side of the wooden piece.

“Lena.”

It's like this moment will seal everything between them.

“Hi,” Lena smiles shyly, retreating her hand closer to her chest as if she has just been burned. “You’re still awake.”

Kara can’t help opening a small smile. “I am.”

“I—” Lena's cheeks are getting blushed all over, and, most likely feeling it, she looks down at the floor in an attempt to hide it. “I’m sorry for dropping by so late.”

“It’s okay,” Kara dismisses it softly, her voice calm even though her entire body is buzzing with something pretty similar to the sensation of floating high above the ground. “You’re always welcomed here.”

Lena looks up at her with an opened expression which quickly fades away as soon as her gaze locks somewhere over Kara's left shoulder. “Oh. I— I didn’t know you had company.”

“Company?” Kara repeats quietly, frowning in confusion, and then it guilty _clicks_. “Oh. Oh, that is my friend Sara.”

Lena nods distractedly as if she is not really listening, her voice breaking into something close to disappointment when saying, “I'm sorry. I guess shouldn’t have come.”

“Ba— Lena,” Kara pleads, reaching out to carefully hold her hand before she can so much as think on moving away. “Please. Sara and I were just talking.”

“We can totally catch up later, though,” Sara adds, a kind smile playing on her lips as she moves closer to them. “I think I will take this bottle with me to the DEO. Maybe Alex won’t be mad at me if I am to drink it with her.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at Kara, clearly surprised with the other woman's words. “It’s a long story,” she murmurs in a low voice, unable to contain a smile as recognizing that Sara is just most likely trying to lighten up the mood.

“I’ll see you guys around.” Sara winks at them both as politely excusing herself, a soft teasing on her eyes that maybe only Kara is able to notice. “Take care.”

“Bye,” Kara says to her retreating form, breathing slowly to keep herself calm. She watches Lena quietly watching Sara moving down the hall, a quite adorable small frown playing in between her eyebrows. “She is harmless, you know.”

Green eyes meet blue in a warm look; a smile tugging at her lips shyly. “She seems nice.”

“Maybe I can tell you about her someday,” Kara offers in a low voice, stroking the back of Lena's hand with lazy caresses. “It’s a pretty long story, though.”

“I would love to hear about it anyway.”

Kara opens a small smile, her heart beating steadily in her ribcage. “Would you like to come in?”

Lena's gorgeous emerald eyes study her face for a long moment until, suddenly, she is stepping closer to Kara's personal space and fitting perfectly into her embrace. “I’m sorry,” she breathes out in Kara's neck, the words leaving her lips a bit shakily.

“It's okay.”

“I just—” Lena swallows hard, sniffing lowly. “I’ve missed you so much, darling.”

Kara wraps her arms tighter around her body to bring her even closer, her fingers stroking soft raven hair carefully. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Lena nuzzles on the crook of her neck, breathing in and out deeply in an attempt to control the emotions inside her chest. They stay like that for a very long time, hearts beating steadily against each other's as if they haven’t even for a second been apart. As if nothing else matters besides this moment. As if—

“If you keep doing that, I will probably fall asleep,” Lena murmurs quietly, and, even though Kara's lips break into a smile, her fingers don’t stop scratching her scalp.

“I can tell you’re tired.”

“I haven’t been able to sleep much lately,” Lena admits, her soft lips brushing Kara's warm skin. “I just— I have had a lot of stuff to do in L-Corp.”

Kara frowns worriedly. “Don’t tell me you've been non-stop working on a new project.”

“I guess I have.”

Kara scratches her scalp slower, never ceasing on making the woman let out a small sigh. “Do you— Do you maybe want to sleep here tonight?”

Lena hesitates for a second before whispering hopefully, “Won’t you mind?”

“I would never,” Kara whispers lowly, shaking her head a bit. She lets her hand drop down to Lena's shoulder, then to her arm, then to her ribs until it gently rests on her lower back. “Do you want to go to bed right now?”

Lena nods slowly but doesn’t move the slightest bit away from their warm embrace. She is really exhausted, Kara can feel it in the way she is leaning on her body.

“Can I— Is it okay if I carry you?”

Lena nods shyly once again, hiding her face on the crook of Kara's neck as being gently scooted up in strong arms, as carefully being taken to the dimly lit bedroom. “Thank you, darling.”

Kara presses a kiss on her temple right before laying her down on the mattress. “You’re welcome,” she whispers as adjusting the cozy blanket over her body. “Just call me if you—”

“No,” Lena pleads almost urgently, reaching forward to hold her hand before Kara can so much as move away. Her green eyes seem to be opening up even more to her, almost like the walls around her are starting to stumble down to let her in once again. “Stay with me, please.”

The blonde breathes out slowly. “You sure?”

Lena nods with no hesitation, and so Kara lets herself be gently brought closer until they are back again wrapped in each other’s warmth. They fit perfectly together under the cozy blanket; so perfectly, in fact, it is like an unspoken way to erase any doubts, any fears, any excuses they could possibly have in order to avoid being together. It's like the universe is showing them that the connection they have isn’t something easy to find anywhere. It's like an unspoken way to show them that, even though they can live without each other, they still choose to live happier as one.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

The hand upon Kara's chest moves carefully closer to touch the small blue pendant resting in between the swell of her breasts. “Was it your mother who gave you this?”

“Yes,” Kara answers in a whisper, nodding slowly. “It was the last gift I got from her.”

“You never really told me the story behind it,” Lena points out softly, moving her head on Kara's shoulder to look up at her. “She gave it to you on an important celebration?”

Kara shakes her head sadly, unable not to take a moment to answer. “She gave it to me right before I got in a pod that brought me here.”

“Oh,” Lena breathes brokenly, moving even closer to her body. “I’m so sorry, darling. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s been a long time.”

Lena nuzzles on her neck right before pressing a soft kiss on her skin, staying close as if afraid to move away. “Is it okay if I ask what was her name?”

“Alura,” Kara answers instantly in a low voice, hugging Lena tighter to silently tell her _this_ is okay. “Alura Zor-El.”

“Does that—” Lena moves her head away from her neck, tilting it back so her lips are now brushing the shell of the blonde’s ear. “Does that make you Kara Zor-El?”

_Oh, sweet Rao._

“Yeah.”

“Kara Zor-El,” Lena whispers it fondly as if tasting the words on her tongue, and the blonde swallows hard as hearing her name whispered like _that_ right next to her ear. “You have a beautiful name, darling.”

“Thank you,” she replies shakily, her whole body buzzing and trembling with the want burning hot in her veins. “Lena…”

“Have I already told you how hard you make all this?” Lena questions lowly, biting her own lip as if to control herself. “There is a part of me begging me to shut up, but there is another part of me begging me to get to know you better. I— I don’t really know which one to listen.”

Kara breathes out deeply, closing her eyes shut. “I don’t want you to do something you'll regret later,” she whispers honestly, really meaning it. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. Just— Having you in my arms is already enough.”

Lena swallows hard, her lips curling up into a smile as she hides her face back again on the crook of Kara's neck. “You’re really something else,” she jokes fondly. “I’m sorry, though.”

“It’s okay.”

“Would you—” Lena takes a deep breath, the air leaving her lungs making Kara's skin goosebumps. “Would you mind telling me about your story?”

Kara shakes her head once again. “What would you like to know?”

“Anything you feel like sharing with me.”

Kara thinks for a moment, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. “How about I start from the beginning?”

“I would love that.”

Lena listens carefully to every word that leaves Kara's mouth as she talks about her mother, about her father, about her aunt Astra. She listens carefully to every story Kara has to tell about Krypton, about Rao. She listens carefully to everything Kara tells her, making the blonde feel blessed and loved and lighter as she does so.

They keep talking for hours and hours, their soft voices ceasing slowly as the sun starts to rise up to illuminate the bedroom with a dim golden light but… they are cozily falling asleep in each other’s arms to really notice it.


	5. Chapter 5

Kara wakes up with a familiar warmth nestled closely in her arms, a familiar warmth she hasn’t felt close to her body in such a long time. She wakes up with a feeling of home as Lena breathes on her neck, as noticing how softly tangled together they are under the blanket. She wakes up so well rested but still a bit groggy when curling around Lena's warm body and bringing her a tiny bit closer to her chest; when stretching her legs in between Lena's and nuzzling sleepily on soft – soft – skin.

“Darling,” Lena whines in a low though sleepy voice, tilting her head a bit to the side as she full on shivers when Kara brushes her lips on a spot right behind her ear. “You’re starting to tickle me.”

Kara frowns slightly in confusion, wondering why exactly Lena would say something like that because she really does love when Kara kisses—

Oh.

 _Oh_.

“Oh, Rao,” she groans in embarrassment, pulling away quickly as her entire self burns hot as she blushes in all places. “Oh. I'm so sorry, Lena. I didn’t mean— I just— I forgot—”

“Hey, it's okay,” Lena reassures in an instant, wrapping her arm tighter around Kara's waist to stop her from moving away. Her beautiful green eyes are fixed on hers with this fond look that clearly says _it's really okay_ , and Kara lets herself relax a little. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise. You were honestly just tickling me.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“I know,” Lena whispers as reaching out to fondly tuck a blonde strand behind Kara's ear. “I get how hard all this is. Sometimes I'm not even sure if touching you is something I can still do, but— Honestly, this is way worse than when we started dating.”

Kara laughs shyly. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Just— I'll let you know if you make me uncomfortable, and you do the same, okay?”

“Deal,” Kara agrees with a small nod, relaxing more and more as Lena keeps on running her fingers through blonde hair in a soothing movement. It's so easy for them to fall back into their old routine, to fall back into their own kind of normalcy; Kara notices it once her hand is properly resting on Lena's lower back, thumb moving in a slow and familiar caress. “It feels like we haven’t even been apart for too long.”

Lena opens a smile. “It doesn’t.”

“But I don’t want to make things awkward between us.”

“You didn’t,” Lena reassures again, voice low and slightly thoughtful as if she is concentrated on stroking Kara's hair. “Can we change the subject?”

Kara chuckles lowly. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything.”

She lets her blue eyes focus on the soft rays of sunshine coming through the half-closed curtains while her mind travels back to the night before, remembering the way Lena was solely listening to every word that left her mouth. It was like everything she was sharing about her childhood was as important as anything else about her life. And to remember all that is what makes her offer in a shy voice, “Do you maybe want to hear another story about me?”

Lena opens the most beautiful and encouraging smile that reaches her eyes easily. “What do you feel like sharing?”

“Anything you want to know.”

“Okay, then,” Lena says with a smile, slowly tracing her thumb on the shell of the blonde’s ear as she thinks for a moment. “I have been thinking about something lately. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words, so forgive me if I'm being rude.”

“I will be glad to answer anything you want to ask me.”

Lena breathes out slowly as if readying herself, and her voice is really soft when she brings herself to start with, “You— I was wondering how it must have been for you when you got here. When your pod crashed here on Earth, I mean. I— Um, I remember you said something that night about being allowed to be who you are near me. I just want to understand what it really means.”

Kara doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she lets herself think more clearly about Lena's sentences as the seconds stretch on, wanting nothing more than to genuinely help Lena to get to know her better.

“I always felt like I didn’t have to be anyone else but me when I was with you,” she starts in a low voice. “You always made me feel comfortable with who I really was. I could talk to you for hours about all my passions and all my thoughts, and you never made me feel self-conscious about any of it. I could tell you about my doubts and fears, and then be completely clueless about something, but you would help me and comfort me and explain things to me. It was like it didn’t matter who I was because you enjoyed being around me anyway.”

Lena doesn’t exactly say anything, but, with the soft way her heart is beating and with the way she is thoughtfully biting her lip, she is clearly paying attention to every single word.

“About the other part,” Kara continues, letting her gaze fix back again on the window behind Lena. “When I first got here, everything was all really scary. I— I didn’t know anything. I was alone on this planet which I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure if it was Earth. The only thing I knew was that— Well, do you remember when I said that Krypton was dying, and that's why my parents put me in that pod?”

“Yes,” Lena answers softly, voice with a touch of sadness as she reaches out to hold Kara's blue pendant. “That was when your mother gave you this.”

Kara smiles softly at her, nodding and shifting in place to tangle their legs together once again. “There are not many people who know this, but I actually came here to take care of my baby cousin Kal-El. I was supposed to take care of him, but— When I managed to finally arrive on Earth, he was already a grown-up man.”

Lena frowns in confusion. “How is that possible?”

“I was trapped for many years in a place called Phantom Zone,” Kara explains, avoiding to meet Lena's gaze because she isn’t sure if she will be able to keep talking about this if she does. “There is nothing in that place. It's just darkness and quietness. It's like time doesn’t exist.”

Lena’s voice is really, really soft when asking, “How did you end up there?”

“I was knocked off course when Krypton exploded,” she answers in a small voice, and, when Lena whispers an _oh, darling_ with such sadness, she feels herself break into a sob. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Shh, come here.” Lena hugs her even tighter, nuzzling on her temple as laying soft kisses on her skin, as whispering words of reassurance in her ear. She holds the blonde for as long as it takes her to calm down, to stop shaking. “We don’t have to talk about that anymore. You can tell me about it some other time if you want. But it's okay if you don’t.”

Kara nods slowly, sniffing as she recovers. “Thank you.”

“I’m here for you, alright?” Lena pulls away just enough to press her lips gently on Kara’s forehead. “I’m always going to be here for you. I— I promise.”

“I love you,” Kara whispers in a barely audible voice, not containing herself. “I just— I want you to know that.”

“I do,” she whispers quietly, moving her head down in order to nuzzle on the blonde’s cheek; all but making her heart stop beating. “I love you, too.”

The blonde inclines her head to give a soft peck on her lips, pressing their mouths together ever so slightly. The kiss doesn’t get longer or deeper but it doesn’t need to in order for them both to know that there is something building between them. Something meaningful.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“I just—” Lena takes a deep breath and touches their foreheads together. “I was wondering what stopped you from telling me about Supergirl. I— I know you tried. I remember catching you looking at me with an opened expression like you were about to tell me something… but it was only for you to give it up a second later.”

Kara is slightly taken aback by that, once she didn’t know Lena had noticed it before.

“Was it because you were afraid of my reaction or—”

“I was afraid of losing you,” she answers in a small voice, and Lena's heart does this soft beat with her whispered words.

“You were not going to lose me,” Lena reassures in a slightly shaky voice. “I need you to know that. I need you to understand that I would never walk away because of that.”

“I understand it now,” Kara whispers, gently bumping their noses together before pulling away to look into her eyes. “I promise never to lie to you again. I promise never to hide something from you ever again. I love you too much to lose you because of a mistake I already made.”

Lena opens a fond smile that makes her eyes crinkle a bit on the corners, but she doesn’t yet say anything. She just strokes Kara's cheek with her thumb and then leans in to kiss her lips. “Come have brunch with me.”

“Right now?”

“I will make you my Sunday special,” she says, pressing their lips together once again, and, when Kara murmurs an _okay_ , she reaches for her hand to guide them both to the kitchen. “Come on, I will let you help me.”

She does indeed let the blonde help while they make pancakes and muffins and strong cups of coffee; both of them working perfectly together, teasing each other and laughing and making stupid jokes and even singing to some N'SYNC songs on the top of their lungs.

It's like any other lazy Sunday morning they have spent together – and it is perfect.

“I’ve missed this, you know,” Lena says quietly, biting on a blueberry muffin while her big green eyes watch Kara carefully. “I’ve missed having fun with my best friend.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Kara says with a smile, stretching her hand over the table in a silent offer that Lena doesn’t hesitate to take. “It’s good to have you back… here.”

She adds the last word a second too late, and Lena smiles at her like she knows it. “Thanks for having me.”

Kara brushes her thumb on Lena’s knuckles in a soothing caress, thinking for a moment before saying softly, “I’ve, um— I haven’t mentioned before but I noticed you are not walking with that cane anymore.”

“Yeah, I have been way better lately. I—” Lena frowns a little and averts her gaze to her own half-empty plate. “I don’t have to take any medications anymore, and my injuries have healed completely but… I guess I will have some new scars.”

Kara frowns worriedly. “Oh, I’m sorry about that last part but I'm glad to know you have gotten better.”

“Yeah,” Lena agrees shyly, shifting a little in her seat to somehow get even closer to the blonde. “I— I’m kind of aware that Sam has been texting you updates about my health, though.”

_Oh…_

Kara instantly feels her neck and cheeks growing hot in embarrassment for being caught, her blue eyes fixed on their hands even though Lena looks up at her. “I just— I wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

“I appreciate it,” Lena says fondly; _so_ fondly, in fact, Kara can’t help meeting her gaze once again. She also can’t help noticing that the woman is worrying her bottom lip in her teeth as if she is getting nervous. “I’m sorry I had to push you away at that time. But I needed to do that in order to understand what I was feeling for you.”

Kara breathes in and out slowly. “Did you ever hate me?”

The question comes out in such a low voice it is barely a whisper, but, with the way Lena holds her hand tighter, it is still audible enough to be heard. “I could never hate you, Kara,” she answers sadly, green eyes filling with unshed tears. “You may have hurt me, but I could never have such a bad feeling towards you. I think— I love you too much for that.”

Kara's heart skips a beat, and her voice has a clear tone of expectation when asking, “You do?”

“I could never in my life stop loving you,” Lena confesses, voice low but firm. “And I always come back to you, Kara. No matter what.”

“Lena, babe, I—”

“I want to kiss you,” Lena whispers quietly, frowning as if she can’t hold herself any longer. “Like really kiss you. I’ve been wanting to do that since last night.”

Kara blinks slowly, her breath getting caught in her lungs. She thinks for a moment about uttering a _do you mean it_ but she can see it in Lena's eyes. She can see it right there in those gorgeous emerald eyes how much Lena means that, how much she wants that. It's like everything she did last night – like hugging her, and nuzzling on her neck, and pressing kisses on her skin, and whispering those words in her ear – had been leading them to this very precious moment. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you, too.”

“You have?” Lena asks expectantly, biting the corner of her bottom lip in a nervous gesture even though Kara is already nodding in agreement. “Can I—”

“ _Yes_ ,” Kara whispers in answer, already getting up from her chair and rounding the table to get closer to Lena, to drop to her knees and to stay there with Lena's thighs around her hips. “Yes, babe. You don’t have to ask.”

Lena sinks both her hands into blonde waves, pulling the woman closer to her in order to firmly press their mouths together. She catches Kara's bottom lip in between her own, sucking it lightly yet hard enough for a low moan to escape from deep their throats. “Kara, please.”

“What do you need?”

“Just— Touch me,” Lena whispers breathlessly into her mouth. “I need you to touch me.”

“You will tell me if you get uncomfortable?” Kara asks, already slipping her hand under Lena's shirt to touch the warm skin underneath, to run her fingers up her spine, and to make a low sound of satisfaction escape from Lena's parted lips. She kisses down her strong jawline, nipping her neck so very carefully but just in the way Lena adores it. “Babe? Will you tell me if—”

“Yes,” Lena answers in almost an impatient moan. “Just hold me, Kara. Love me like you want to.”

Kara's heart flutters with those words, but she doesn’t waste any time on moving up again to take those soft, warm lips in between her own. She kisses Lena like she means it, tracing the curve of her mouth with her tongue while running both hands on her bare back. She touches every inch of Lena – with her hands and with her mouth – in such a gentle yet reverent way, she deeply hopes all her touches are being put into words of love and care and appreciation. She hopes Lena can feel it in every inch of her skin without actually having to say anything.

“Kara…” Lena whispers in a shaky voice, her chest moving up and down at an incredible speed as her whole body trembles slightly. “I— I want to…”

“What do you want, my love?”

Lena carefully takes a handful of blonde hair in between her fingers, her soft lips brushing Kara’s ever so slightly before she pulls away to look into her eyes and to whisper with no hesitation, “I want you to take me to bed.”

-

_Kara flopped back down onto the ridiculous comfortable hotel bed with a satisfying sigh, smiling widely to herself as she put her hands behind her head. “Do you know that feeling when you're tired but, like, a good kind of tired because your day was just perfect?”_

_“Yeah,” Lena answered with a fond chuckle, standing in front of the mirror as she took her earrings off. “I definitely know what you’re talking about. My feet are kind of killing me because of how much we walked today.”_

_Kara adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose, her cheeks burning a tiny bit. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to explore every single part of the city with you.”_

_“I’m not really complaining.” Lena met her blue eyes on the mirror, her whole face shining with clear happiness. “I loved every part of it. I will always treasure the memories we have made today.”_

_Kara smiled widely at her, heart starting to beat faster as she moved to get up and to approach the gorgeous woman wearing such a beautiful though simple floral dress. She didn’t break eye contact as wrapping her arms around Lena's waist, as pressing her front on Lena's back, as brushing her lips on a spot right behind Lena's ear. “I’m glad to know that.”_

_“I still can’t believe you did all this for us,” Lena said in a really low voice, heart thudding louder and louder, body melting on Kara's warmth. “But it honestly was the best anniversary I have ever had.”_

_“No pressure for next year, right?”_

_Lena's green eyes sparkled with the implication of those playful words, smile getting impossibly fonder as she rested both hands on top of Kara's. “You know all I care about is being with you.”_

_“I know. So do I,” Kara whispered, moving her head down to nuzzle on Lena's neck and to press a kiss right on her pulse point. “Do you want to have a bath? I can give you a massage on your shoulders, and on your back, and on your thighs, and on your feet.”_

_“There is no way I'm going to say no to that,” Lena said with a sigh, and Kara couldn’t help opening a smile._

_“Is it okay if I take your dress off, then?”_

_“Yeah,” she answered with a small nod; breath leaving her parted lips in a slow exhale, green eyes closing as warm lips touched the back of her neck and went down on the heated skin revealed by the opened zipper. Her body shivered slightly when Kara moved both hands up her curves to slowly push the clothing away from her shoulders, to drift if off her arms, and to let it fall down to the floor. Kara could feel herself being watched as her gaze reverently landed on the black set of lingerie Lena was wearing – the dark color contrasting so perfectly well with the exposed pale skin all she wanted to do was to run her lips on every inch of it. “Kara, are you—”_

_“You’re just so beautiful,” Kara answered in a whisper, nuzzling once again on the crook of her neck to leave open-mouthed kisses on her skin. “Always so beautiful. I want to— I want to touch you.”_

_Lena took her bottom lip in between her teeth, biting hard on it as if to control her voice before saying in a husky tone, “I won’t mind if you do.”_

_“What about your massage?”_

_“You can do it afterward,” Lena whispered breathlessly, tilting her head to the side in order to allow Kara's mouth to drift upward to her jawline, then to her cheek, then to finally reach her soft lips. Kara kissed her like she had been wanting to all day, slow but deep, which made Lena undoubtedly melt on it as turning around to gently cup her face. “Can you take me to bed?”_

_Kara didn’t have to be asked twice. She instantly bent down a little to lift Lena up into her arms, hands hooked under her thighs, making the woman wrap her legs around her waist to stand upright. Kara easily carried her towards the massive bed right exactly in the middle of the room, nipping on Lena's earlobe as carefully – so very carefully – laying her down on the soft mattress. “You’re really beautiful, you know that?”_

_Lena smiled shyly at her like she almost always did with compliments, but that didn’t stop her from pulling Kara even closer – their kiss getting messier than before, a little desperate but never rushed. “Darling, can you—” Lena let out a low sound of pleasure escape from deep her throat when the blonde pressed herself ever so slightly against her body, hands tugging urgently on the material of Kara's light blue dress as if she wanted it off. “I want to feel your skin on mine.”_

_“Okay, babe.” Kara bit her bottom lip lightly before pulling away to strip off her clothes, not really caring where she threw it because Lena's skin was just so soft, so warm, so perfect touching hers. “Better?”_

_“So much better,” Lena answered with a smirk, hooking her legs tighter around Kara’s hips to roll them on the bed and to switch their positions. Her perfect soft mouth came to rest on the crook of her neck, leaving kisses and sucking hard and nipping lightly. Then she slowly went down and down, nuzzled in the space between her breasts, and adjusted herself on top of her in order to stay in between Kara's legs. She reached to her back, slipping two fingers under the strap of her bra, and whispered in a very low voice, “Let me touch you first.”_

_Like Kara could ever say no to that. An_ okay _left her lips in a low whisper, and, while her fingers ran of soft raven hair, Lena unclasped her bra in a swift, easy movement and moved her mouth to an already picked nipple. Kara's heart started to beat even more frantically in her chest, and a low moan escaped from deep her throat when warm lips wrapped around it. “Babe—”_

_“Let me, please. I— I've been wanting to do this all day,” Lena confessed, moving to give the other nipple the same attention. She scrapped her teeth on the sensitive skin in such a knowing way, it instantly made Kara's focus go exactly to the throbbing in between her legs. “I want you to feel how much I love you and how much I appreciate everything you did for us today.”_

Oh, Rao.

_Kara's toes were already curling, her whole body shivering with all the attention it was receiving. “You don’t have to.”_

_“I want to,” Lena whispered quietly, pressing her hips down and making the blonde groan low and deep. She made Kara arch her back off the sheets in such an incredible angle, made her throw her head back on the pillows, made her dig blunt nails in the base of her neck to keep her there – playing her body like an instrument. “I want to make you come.”_

_Kara had half the mind to chuckle lowly. “It won’t take me too long.”_

_“I don’t mind.”_

_By the time Lena moved down her abs, kissing and scrapping her teeth on tanned skin, Kara was already shaking and so incredibly turned on – her panties were sticky and damp and clinging to her. But Lena didn’t let her wait much longer to hook her thumbs under the waistband of her underwear to slide it down her legs, nails scratching lightly on her skin as it went. She also didn’t wait to leave open-mouthed kisses up her inner thighs to reach the exact spot Kara wanted her the most; both of them moaning with the immediate sensation it caused._

_“You’re wet, darling,” Lena uttered in awe, breath ghosting over the slick spot._

_“Told you. But— Don’t stop, please.”_

_Lena opened a fond smile at her, murmuring a_ wouldn’t dare _before leaning back in to suck her swollen clit into her mouth. She seemed to concentrate solely on tasting her, on moving her tongue on the silky folds, on making the blonde's hips jolt higher and higher as she moaned louder and louder. After a year together, the raven-haired woman knew exactly_ where _to touch and_ how _to touch and_ when _to apply pressure and draw new patterns._

 _“Babe—” Kara was squirming under her, the pressure in her belly about to break and about to make her fly over the edge of deep pleasure – and it did a second later when Lena sucked right on the exact spot that made her whole body sing. “_ Oh _, babe.”_

_Gentle kisses kept being pressed on her inner thighs as she took her time to come back down to herself, her thighs still shaking a little on either side of Lena's head. She swallowed hard, feeling her throat dry, breath and heart raced as Lena climbed up her body to nuzzle on the crook of her neck once again. “How was it?”_

_“Are you kidding me?” Kara scoffed fondly, wrapping her arms around Lena to keep her close. “I guess I’m not feeling my legs right now.”_

_Lena laughed lowly. “That was what I was aiming for.”_

_Kara tickled her playfully, and they got quiet after that to fully recover themselves in each other's arms. Their low breathing was the only sound filling the bedroom, so peaceful and so cozy. One of Kara's favorite parts about it, actually, was the floor to ceiling windows that were displaying the most gorgeous view of the night sky of Paris, even with the Eiffel Tower on the horizon shining brightly like its own star._

_“Do you want your massage right now?” she asked softly, brushing her thumb in lazy circles on the bare skin of Lena's shoulder, feeling her nod shyly in agreement. “Can you give me five minutes so I can get everything ready?”_

_“What do you need to get ready?”_

_“I’m running a bath for you, babe,” Kara nuzzled on her temple. “Everything needs to be perfect.”_

_Lena lightly bit down on the soft skin of her throat. “You are unbelievable.”_

_“I'll be right back.”_

_Once the bath was ready, filled to the rim with hot water and lots of bubbles, candles also scattered here and there on every surface, Kara went back to the bedroom – only to find Lena fast asleep on the sheets. She couldn’t help instantly opening a fond smile at the vision, her heart growing twice its size because of what she was feeling in that exact moment. “I really do love her,” she whispered in a barely audible voice, quickly blowing the candles out and closing the curtains before she climbed on the bed beside her gorgeous girlfriend. “Sweet dreams, my love.”_

_The morning after, when Lena unnecessarily apologized a hundred times for falling asleep, Kara took her to the bath and, as promised, massaged the tension away from her muscles until she was practically begging –_ darling, please _– to finally let her fingers go south and then inside. She made Lena come three more times before they had to leave to go catch a plane back to National City._

_“Happy anniversary, babe,” Kara whispered as leaning in to press a soft kiss on her cheek once they were already settled on their seats._

_Lena smiled at her with nothing but pure love on her green eyes. “Happy anniversary, darling.”_

-

_I want you to take me to bed._

Kara gently presses Lena down into the white sheets, leaving open-mouthed kisses on a spot on her neck as running both hands under her shirt to touch soft skin and bare curves. They are both still with their clothes on, but the heat emanating from their bodies – almost like they are calling for each other – is making Kara feel dizzy. She isn’t even sure whose raced heartbeat she is hearing in her ears, growing louder and louder by each second.

It honestly doesn’t matter, though.

Her mind is entirely too focused on Lena – on the sounds she is making, on the way she is moving under her body. She doesn’t even need to concentrate too hard to notice the subtle sharp intake of air Lena takes when her touch gets closer and closer to the swell of her breasts.

“Babe?” Kara calls softly in a husky voice, pressing a light kiss on her pulse point. “Do you really want this?”

“Yeah,” Lena answers in a beat, voice so very low and so very husky as she scratches her nails on Kara's scalp as if trying to keep her close. “I want this. I want you so badly.”

Slowly, so exquisitely slowly, Kara brushes her lips on the column of her throat, leaving kisses up on soft skin until their breaths get mixed together – their mouths just an inch apart from each other.

“Kiss me,” Lena asks in a whisper, tilting her chin up in a clear invitation the blonde doesn’t hesitate to take. She finally leans in to draw the soft-looking lower lip into her mouth, sucking and biting and running her tongue along the very delicate curve. She gives the same attention to the upper one, tracing the bow shape until she is let in to feel the unique taste of her – cinnamon and blueberries – making Lena arch her back in a high angle and hook her legs tighter around her hips to keep them as close as possible. “Darling—”

“Tell me what you need.”

“I just—” Lena swallows hard, framing her face with both hands in an attempt to chase Kara's lips when she starts to pull away a bit to look into those intense dark green eyes. “Just touch me, please.”

“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?”

“Yes,” Lena answers in a very low whisper, bringing Kara back to her to seal their mouths together for a messier kiss, moaning in pleasure when the blonde brushes her thumbs on already picked nipples. “Fuck—”

From that moment on, it doesn’t take them too long to start tugging at each other’s clothes, wanting them off to feel warm skin against warm skin. “Babe,” Kara whispers in a breathless gasp, moving her kisses down to her neck, down to her collarbone. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Lena sinks her hand into blonde waves and makes a loose fist as Kara goes down to the space between her breasts, down to the small scar on her ribs, down to a bigger one on her right thigh. She chases them with her thumb and follows right after with gentle kisses until she reaches a spot very close to where is soaked.

Blue eyes look questionably into green ones, and after a vehement nod of agreement, Kara finally lets herself dive in.

She starts gently at first, kissing and licking and sucking, but, when she licks on a spot that never ceases to make Lena's hips jolt, things start to get a bit more heated. She alternates pressures and patterns, moaning softly to the taste on her tongue, digging her nails in Lena's hipbone to keep her from moving so much.

“You taste so good, babe,” she whispers, nipping on soft skin, knowing that Lena is almost approaching it with the sounds leaving her parted lips, with how much her thighs are shaking on either side of her head. She moves her tongue over that spot again and again and again, and Lena reaches for her hand to lace their fingers together as if she needs something to hold on to. “It’s okay, my love. You can let go. I've got you.”

She comes with a cry of her name, arching like a bow and then flying fast to a world surrounded by stars.

Kara keeps pressing gentle kisses here and there as Lena takes her time to come back to herself. She doesn’t quite know how long it takes, but when the strong grip on her hand loosens a bit, she slowly climbs up on her flushed body to nuzzle on her neck. “Are you okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” Lena answers in a low voice, wrapping both arms and legs around Kara's body as if that is everything she needs. “I just— I really do love you.”

Kara opens a shy smile and hides her face further on soft raven hair, her warm breath tickling Lena's skin. “I really do love you too.”

“I— I've missed everything about you on these last three weeks, you know,” she continues lowly, voice breaking a little in the end, making Kara instantly hold her tighter on a stronger embrace. “I’ve missed how you make me feel when I'm around you.”

“Babe—”

“I don’t like being away from you, Kara,” she confesses quietly, stroking the back of her neck in a silent request for her to just wait a moment. “I don’t like when I'm not there for you when you want to talk about your day or about a new article or about a new restaurant or even about a cute puppy you saw during a walk in the park.”

Kara can’t help herself from letting out a watery chuckle at those last words, and Lena audibly smiles with her.

“I would like to know everything about you,” she says in her ear, voice heavy with fondness. “I would like to be by your side at every moment you want me to.”

It seems like the air gets stuck in her lungs, but it also seems like her tears have a will of their own. “Do you— Does that mean you forgive me for what I've done?”

“I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Oh, Lena…” Kara’s whisper barely leaves her mouth, her throat feeling tight because of the emotions she can no longer hold back. She buries her face even more on the crook of Lena's neck, sobbing quietly as being held in a warm and a familiar hug. “Thank you, babe. _Thank you_. I promise I’ll never make you go through that ever again. I will never hurt you like this again.”

Lena gently frames her face with both hands, guiding the blonde to tilt her head a bit to the side in order to press a tender kiss on her lips. “I know you won’t and I love you even more for that.”

Kara kisses her even more deeply, pressing herself down a little against her body, making Lena let out a breathless gasp that brings both their attention to the slickness in between her legs.

“Kara…” Lena whispers, and that is all it takes for the blonde to understand what she wants, for the blonde to slid her hand between their bodies – one finger swirling around her entrance, waiting for a soft _please_ to escape Lena's lips to finally push two fingers inside. “Fuck—”

“Babe—” Kara moans, adjusting herself on top of Lena in order to press their foreheads together; both their hot breaths getting mixed-up because of the small inch that keeps their mouths apart. “You’re so tight.”

Lena only moans in response, gasping and squirming as her walls clench tighter and tighter around Kara's fingers. She is still so worked up from her first orgasm, it really doesn’t take her long to fly over the edge once again and to come on the blonde's wrist with another soft cry of her name.

They stay tangled closely together after that for what feels like hours and hours – none of them coming even close to thinking about moving away from such a cozy and warm embrace. It's a familiar moment between them. A moment that hasn’t happened for _so_ long, but a moment that never ceases to make the blonde appreciate it even more with every ounce of her heart.

“I love you more than anything,” she whispers quietly in her ear, knowing that Lena is about to doze off because of the lazy movements she is making on her hair. “I love you like I have never loved anyone before. And I promise I will always take care of you and be there for you when you need me to.”

“Just promise you won’t ever leave me,” Lena asks in a half-sleepy voice. “I don’t want to live in a world where you have gone, knowing that I can’t just wake up to have you back in my arms.”

 _The dream_ , Kara realizes with a pain in her chest. _That night, she dreamt about losing— Oh, Rao._

“I won’t ever leave you, babe,” she reassures in a voice heavy with emotions, pressing a soft kiss right above her heart to seal her promise. “I give you my words.”

 

* * *

 

**EPILOGUE:  
EIGHT MONTHS LATER, MIDVALE**

 

“So,” Kara whispers in Lena's ear once they get settled in a warm embrace, curled closely together under a blanket as dawn starts to break. “Eliza is really glad that we came to stay for a few days.”

“I bet,” Lena says softly with a smile, leaning back against Kara's chest. “It must be a bit hard to be away from her daughters so much.”

“Yeah, I wish I could come more often.” Kara nuzzles on the crook of her neck, breathing deeply in an attempt to control her nervousness. “I used to come to this beach a lot when I was younger, you know. It's kind of my happy place.”

“It’s beautiful.” Lena turns around in her arms to look into her eyes. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Kara's hand shakes slightly as she lifts it to put a raven strand behind Lena's ear. “I’ve always wanted to show it to you. Especially at sunrise because sometimes— Well, it is a bit rare, but the sky sometimes gets in this exact orange shade we had back on Krypton.”

“Oh,” Lena breathes out, her expression softening even more. “I didn’t know this place was so important to you.”

“It makes me feel connected to home,” Kara whispers, leaning closer to press their foreheads together. “That’s why I wanted to show it to you. I— I would like to tell you something as well.”

“Okay.”

“You know I love every part of you,” she says, her heart beating a mile a minute. “You’re the one person who knows me better than anyone, the one person I feel the most connected with. You're my everything, Lena, and I want to— I want to be with you today and every day for the rest of eternity. I want to have a family with you.”

Lena's emerald eyes shine as bright as the stars. “You’re already my family.”

“I know, but I—” Kara takes a deep breath and licks on her dry lips. “I want to marry you. I want to have you in my life, want to be able to call you my wife. I want to buy a big house for us. I want to be there for you at all times you want me to. I— I love you so much, Lena. You already make me the happiest woman in the entire world, but would you— Will you marry me?”

“Kara…” Lena says in a whisper, her green eyes shining with tears as she looks down at an opened velvet box, at a golden engagement ring. “Of course. I— You know I—”

Kara takes her bottom lip in between hers for a soft kiss.

“Kara, I—” Lena opens one of most beautiful smiles Kara has ever seen in her life, hand going to a pocket she has been touching every since they woke up to reveal a gorgeous golden bracelet inside a bigger box. “You beat me to it, clearly, but I— I've been planning this for a while now. I know a bracelet is way more meaningful to you when talking about weddings.”

The tears fall freely from her blue eyes, rolling down her cheeks as she bites hard on her bottom lip. “Was that why you asked me about it?”

“I wanted to do it right,” Lena answers softly. “You’ve always been my light, Kara. I knew I could always count on you for whatever I needed because you would always be with me. You already make me happy, the happiest I've ever been, and I want to make you happy as well.”

“You already do.”

As if not holding herself anymore, Lena presses their lips together for a deep and long kiss. But it doesn’t take long for the golden bracelet to come to rest prettily on Kara's left wrist and for the golden diamond ring to come to rest even more prettily on Lena's left finger.

“You have my heart for all the days of my life,” Kara says in a whisper as they settle themselves back together in the warm embrace.

“And you have mine.”

They stay there on the beach for a couple of hours as the sky and the ocean slowly lighten for the beginning of a new day, a new life, a new moment in both their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on Tumblr @a-summerfall


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